IF A FAT GUY CAN SELL A DIET PLAN

CONTINUING THE HEADLINE

If a fat guy can sell a diet plan, he can give equally useless dating advice. He's got to pay for his and his son's Lamborginis, right?

“Dr. Phil” McGraw is taking his psychological pearls of wisdom to cyberspace. Subscribers who pay $12.99 a month for Match.com's new “MindFindBind” premium service will get access to McGraw's folksy tips on dating and relationships in the form of short video clips. The service launches with about 50 clips, covering topics such as communication, making good first impressions and having meaningful conversations on a first date. In one clip, McGraw advises: “If you want to be a winner in love, you want to be a winner in relationships, then do what it takes.”

STEELE’S SEZ THIS IS A SCAM

Dr. Phil is the last person on the planet who would have a clue about dating, let alone internet "dating." He’s a simpleton who has read a lot of self-help books. And as far as I can tell has never had a real therapy practice, thus will be about as effective as "Doctor" Laura and as popular for saying nothing. The “advice” he gives [see above for an example] is more useless than “try harder,” which is "Doctor" Laura's top drawer stuff.

Pathetic is not even close. A fat guy who sells diet books and programs with a straight face! Next he will sell hair loss prevention using the same style as his diet program which is, “If I didn’t follow this program I’d be really fat.” "If I didn't use this, I'd be completely bald!"

There is no actual dating among 90% of the people who pay money to the internet "match making/dating sites" with hope in their hearts. There is a hell of a lot of E mail which in reality stands for EUNUCH mail and EUNUCH male.

The guys in my coaching program use the www to find meet talk and date with 20 different women. They are NOT permitted to go out with any of the women second time. The reason for that is two fold.First, when he knows he does not have to TRY to get her to like him, he is much more relaxed and confident. Two, after several years of this, we learned that 99% of women on the www are seriously disturbed or seriously incapable of a realistic relationship.

The purpose of 20 internet women dates is for the guy to desensitize himself to first dates, to learn how to get there on time, how to give her IDIOT PROOF directions, what do and say during the first few awkward moments and on and on and then how to end the date with class, how to say good bye, as well as to never say, I will call you. And about 100 more things. All of this will be explained in a forthcoming book with the working title THE COFFEE DATE HANDBOOK. ETA Late 2006.

Short version: Sites like e-harmony, match.com and such are gigantic filters that deliver people of both sexes who cannot get a date for very good reasons. Use the sites to learn how to have 20 first dates and you will be much more ATTRACTIVE and DESIRABLE to women in the real world not the cyber world.

Aloha, RDS

WERE YOU A BAD LAY?

This is from my Coaching Program. A typical exchange that applies to everyone. Women around the world will agree with it completely. Most men are ignorant of these facts. Most men are so unwilling to admit to themselves or to the world that they don't know everything that they are doomed to wander forever ignorant.

Will is 30. He has gradually become a guy who can deal with women somewhat effectively. He is standing on the brink of becoming a full on MAN OF STEEL BALLS. With this info as part of his database women will become much less of a mystery, thus somewhat easier to relate to and with. Somewhat being the operative term!

WILL SEZ: Last night I saw both of my so-called maters: 26, 7.5 (Jill) and I both were at the same bowling event that we signed up for about a month ago. She apologized for not calling me back (I had called her Wed. to suggest a GT).

When she was apologizing, I started talking about something unrelated - in retrospect, I did this to pretend I didn't care that she didn't call me. Later, I told her I had been thinking about her (when we were alone), which got a good reaction, sparkling eyes. She touched me a lot, I touched her, she asked me if I had a curfew tonight, I replied that I had a couple parties to go to.

I wish I had STFU when asked about curfew and said "no." Maybe she would have showed her hand more. Also, no need for me to give details there, if she pressed, I wish I just said I have plans. Overall vibe - good. I think the ball is still in her court since she hasn't responded to my suggestion that we get together. PLAN: wait for her to contact me.

Saw other mater (24, 8.0) Amy at a party. Context: she hadn't returned my Mon. call about a GT; we had lunch last week after I called her and told her I was thinking of her. My attitude was "don't chase", so I was very social with everyone at the party.

Amy didn't show many good signs or BL; nothing really happened between us other than brief convo. She scrumptiously took my picture at one point. Overall vibe: neutral PLAN: write her off unless she comes to me.

STEELE SEZ: Read this and then give me a different plan.

Joanna Bardot Lopez, who is the #1 Titanium Babe in my workshops says, “If you had sex with a young woman and she doesn't want to do it again, you were a bad lay. JBL is blunt and she's right when the guy is about the same age as the female, with these caveats.

When the female is 20 years younger she feels, to use Carla's word SLATTERNLY . . . no matter what her values are.

He's old enough to be my DAD! Oh my GAWD!

She has to regroup and rethink and readjust her values to what happened. This is ALSO the case when the FEMALE is behaving in ways that she, herself, believes is LIKE A SLUT. That's no matter the age difference.

The younger the female the more likely this is the case. That is, a 28 year old's definition of SLUTTY leaves much more room than a 20 year old's definition.

WOMEN ON THE REBOUND AND MORE

When she is conflicted and confused about her Cinderella dreams that were and are being dashed and smashed.

She is on a roller coaster of sex, drugs and rock and roll. She is all over the map trying to make the pain and self-doubt STOP. Instant casual sex, bi sexual fun, threesomes with her ex and many other "slutty" experiences. Of course it doesn't work and her self-esteem takes a major hit.

When she's ovulating and she is angry with her ex or her current boyfriend she will have sex with you to spite him and for the sexual release, jacking off you your, cock so to speak.

Without a PhD from the University of Hard Knox, nothing is what it seems.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU, IN BED

It takes everyone, male and female, five times to get used to each other and relax. That's when you are moderately sober. When you are under the influence of your fave mind-altering chemicals you can take your time and enjoy the journey even the first couple of times. The bad news is, you don't get to remember much about it!

Women can enjoy the first few times IF AND ONLY IF she's experienced with the chemicals and sexually experienced enough to just go with the flow. Warning! When she doesn't remember clearly she usually judges herself as a SLUT.

MR. AND MISS RIGHT COMPLICATE IT

The closer you are to MR. RIGHT the less real she behaves, trying to be who she thinks you want.

When you are 60%> of MR. RIGHT everything gets complicated in her mind INSTANTLY and in her heart twice that fast. Some try to snare you with that deep throat. Others pretend "I've never done this before" hoping to snare you with their virginal past. Some switch back and forth spinning webs with action and inaction. They use words too, hoping to end up in an ivy covered cottage with a white picket fence just like they have been brainwashed to want.

BLUNT TRUTH FOR MEN

When you consider her 60%> MISS RIGHT you get all messed up in the head and heart too. So you put on your best act of what you think she wants.

Men are trapped by their own double standard. They want every female except the-wife-to-be to behave like a sex-crazed Girls Gone Wild star. Men radiate this double bind, contradictory value so clearly that she acts like a virgin and he believes it. Why? Beause he wants to believe it. His prayers have been answered! NOT KIDDING!

This is why relationships are DOOMED from day one! Both people are pretending to be someone they are NOT. When the act becomes too much to keep up, both people feel YOU BETRAYED ME, the end. The saddest of all is the pain inflicted on the innocent children who these unthinking couples create to please their parents, professors, preachers and politicians.

STEEL BALLS TO BE REAL

The Steel Balls Principle is to be REAL as you put your best foot forward. At the same time looking and seeing, listening and hearing so that you can know what you know. No matter how much she pretends to be what she thinks you want her to be, you will see, at a minimum, that she is NOT being real.

From there it is possible to encourage her to reciprocate by your actions of being even more real yourself. NOTICE! Talking about being real is unproductive. Actions speak. How do I know all this? Read Date Young Women Volumes 1 and 2 as well as see, Who Is Don Steele at http://steelballs.com/don_bio.html.

All of this is why we focus on learning how to be REAL in my Personal Growth sessions. Reality is the cure for neurosis. Humanistic Psychology defines neurosis thus: self-defeating behavior that has become instutionalized.

Challenge your beliefs. Think. No matter what women pretend to be, see them as people who are very, very sexual. Why? Evolutionary Mother Nature wants them that way!

DIRECTLY FROM DATE YOUNG WOMEN

I don’t see why malnutrition
isn’t a virtue when chastity is.
SOME WIT

A virgin doesn’t get the joke. She has values and beliefs radically different from yours and thus, is incompatible with you, at a minimum. She believes with all her heart she has a gift of immeasurable worth and expects something equally valuable in return, like marriage.

Virginity indicates a severe religious upbringing or a lack of sensuality or plenty of neurosis, usually all three. A young woman in this state is someone you must only feel sorry for. Her spirit and mind are distorted, her values, beliefs and goals are in direct contradiction with nature. She is abnormal.

So, Will, what do you see and what do you know? Use that as a basis for a new plan and send to me.

Aloha, RDS

DARWIN, STEELE and GALLUP

Office Politics: A Woman's Guide to Beat the System is being revised into two books. One for men only and one for women only. In the original, I collected facts that did not fit elsewhere in a chapter titled 52 RANDOM TRUTHS. #51 caused the biggest uproar, way beyond anything else I ever published or posted. #2 caused Politically Korrekt Commrades to howl with indignation.

RANDOM TRUTH 51. Half the population is of below average intelligence! Shocking? The definition of average tells you it’s true. Half the population has an IQ above 100, half has an IQ below 100. The vast majority, 60 percent, has an IQ between 90 and 110. Only 20 percent have an IQ below 90. Only 20 percent has an IQ over 110. That means 80 percent are not bright, follow the drift? In any organization, 80 percent of the work is done by 20 percent of the group. When you become boss, identify the 20 percent. Reward them. Dump as many of the 80 percent as possible. Your profits will soar, and so will you.

RANDOM TRUTH 2. Only 1.2 percent of taxpayers make over $200,000 a year. That small group earns 15 percent of all income. Only 20 percent of the workforce earns more than $50,000.North America and Europe have 20 percent of the world’s population but create 80 percent of the world’s wealth! Do the math.

Today, October 16, 2005, 10 years after the first publication of Office Politics, this is reported:In a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released last week, 53 percent of adults surveyed said "God created humans in their present form exactly the way the Bible describes it." Thirty-one percent said humans evolved from other species with God's guidance and 12 percent said humans evolved without divine Intervention.

Although Gallup specified the Bible for the first time in this poll, the results closely paralleled those in polls taken over the last 20 years, in which nearly half of all Americans consistently agreed that "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so." [Emphasis added by Steele]

The above will be included verbatim in the both versions of the updated Office Politics.

Here is a first whack at what I will advise. The final whack will be smoother but the essence will be the same.

Plan the rest of our life with the above in your database. You cannot change the world. You can only change how you CHOOSE to deal with the inhabitants of the world, 1/2 of which are of below average intelligence. Choose wisely. Aloha, RDS

PLEASE do not post "clever" comments about this info here.

Wild Eyes and Whackos from both camps can send me hate mail at don@steelballs.com

Your thoughtful comments are welcome here.

STEEL BALLS PRINCIPLE NUMBER ONE

MEN, WOMEN AND DARWIN
Julia M. Klein -- Special to The Times August 29, 2005

Article edited so that we can CUT TO THE CHASE. If you want to read the full article go to LAT site.

THREE years ago, Robert Kurzban, Evolutionary Psychologist, spotted an advertisement for a service called HurryDate, offering an evening of three-minute meetings with 25 potential dates.

With the agreement of the company, Kurzban and a colleague surveyed the HurryDaters about a range of topics including religious background and their desire for children. Their fundamental questions: Did participants select the people most like themselves? Or did most of them prize similar traits — such as appearance or high income — and try to get the best deal they could in the mating market?

What the researchers discovered was that men and women chose their dates on the basis of "generally agreed upon mate values," the mating market hypothesis. Another finding: Both sexes relied mainly on physical attractiveness, largely disregarding factors such as income and social status.

"HurryDate participants are given three minutes in which to make their judgments," the psychologists wrote in a paper published in the May issue of the science journal Evolution and Human Behavior, "but they mostly could be made in three seconds."

Evolutionary psychology sees the mind as a set of evolved psychological mechanisms, or adaptations, that have promoted survival and reproduction. Men, in choosing mates, gravitate toward youth and physical attractiveness — markers of fertility and health.

By contrast, females, for whom conception meant pregnancy and the need to care for a child, were more selective, searching for long-term commitments from males with the resources and willingness to invest in them and their offspring.

Other research indicates that women make different choices at different points in their menstrual cycle, opting for better-looking, more symmetrical and more masculine-appearing men when they are at their most fertile.

In short-term relationships, physical attractiveness is a priority for women, just as it is for men, according to a study by psychologists Norman P. Li and Douglas T. Kenrick that is slated to appear sometime next year in the journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In practice, Li said, people's budgets in the mating market are determined by what they themselves have to offer. "So a guy who is extremely high status or very wealthy can trade up for a more physically attractive partner," he said. And "women trying to make themselves more physically attractive so they can get a higher quality mate are not completely misguided."

John Marshall Townsend, professor of anthropology at the Maxwell School at Syracuse University showed a group of female medical students, law students and professionals pictures of men dressed in different ways — wearing, for instance, a fast-food uniform or a designer suit and Rolex watch. He also gave participants descriptions of each man's social status.

The results were decisive. "Here's Mr. Hottie, but if he's in the wrong costume, and given the wrong status description, then she won't go out with him, much less go to bed with him or marry him," said Townsend. "You could put Cary Grant in a Burger King outfit, and he looks dorky."

If women do occasionally date "down" in terms of social status, Townsend said, "that would be out of desperation."

By contrast, he says, men are likely to date any physically attractive woman. When it comes to marriage, "guys are not completely insensitive to social class," but, he said, they're "not looking for socioeconomic gain."

In the context of speed dating, where quick impressions count, HurryDate president Adele Testani says she was not surprised to learn that both sexes were most choosy about physical attractiveness. Although participants invariably ask each other about their careers, Testani said, "it really is all about that face-to-face chemistry and connection and attraction." She added: "You're certainly not going to find out if you're going to marry the person" in a few minutes.

Kurzban said the "rich visual information" supplied by HurryDate encounters may help men and women get over the first hurdle of appearance, before other factors, such as social status, become relevant.

From my book BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS

ANTHROPOLOGIST’S VIEW

In an interview with Playboy, anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, author of The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery and Divorce answered this question. I was de­lighted she said what I had written.

What do you think about this constant harangue over the issue of patriarchy?

Naomi Wolf came out with that ridiculous book, The Beauty Myth, in which she blames men and the entire advertising industry for the fact that women want to remain beautiful and thin all their lives.

But for millions of years, men have been at­tracted to women who look youthful. That was an evolutionary adaptive response because clear eyes, white teeth, smooth skin and a youthful appear­ance indicated that the woman was more likely to have fresher eggs and more likely to bear viable young. As a result, men have always been attracted to women who look healthy and young.

If the New York advertising, cosmetic and clothing industries fell into the Hudson River, women would re-create them, because the human female instinctively seeks to look youthful, healthy and attractive. That has nothing to do with patriar­chy.

At my workshops called THE RIGHT ATTITUDE, men learn firsthand from young, attractive women that the Number One Steel Balls Principle is true as well as crucially important to his future sex life!

Every single one of the young women we have employed since 1998 has never read any of my books! And yet, these Titanium Babes, as the MEN OF STEEL BALLS have named them, universally agree that they are able to, with their eyes, "graze" an ENTIRE wedding reception in a big ballroom and pick out ALL of the desirable men in less than 10 seconds.

Some Titanium Babes have demonstrated they are able to notice a man's manicured nails at 50 feet in less than 2 seconds! All Titanium Babes have easily been able to notice, and instantly dismiss, every guy with beat up, scuffed up shoes at an even longer distance, 70 feet.

We work with 3 to 5 young women and 20-30 men. The guys listen, stunned, by the amount of detail women can process in only a few seconds. For example, each Titanium Babe stands in the center of a circle of 8 to 10 guys wearing their best version of the Steel Balls/John Molloy POWER SUIT. The babe just turns around slowly looking at each guy and then points to the guy with the best OVERALL appearance. All this in less than 10 seconds.

She then points out everything that caused him to be designated starting with his SHOES! Continuing up thru the drape of his pants, the fit of his suit jacket, the cuff exposure of his shirt, his tie color/style, his tie knot, the fit of his shirt around his neck, his sideburns, teeth, haircut, and finally his finger nails. EIGHT GUYS IN 10 SECONDS. She moves to the second best and points out what caused him to come in second place. And so on to the last place guy. She is tactful and kind by saying things this way, "I would find you more attractive in shoes like his," pointing out what works for her.

This is the first thing we do at the beginning of the workshop on Friday morning. The young women walk in and deliver the goods! This makes belivers of all doubters during the first 15 minutes of the 3-day workshop!

Any who still have a hard time believing the Number One Steel Balls Principle are quickly converted when the Titanium Babes change circles and virtually the same results happen!

Each young woman then sits and shares with the guys in circle they are in. They tell the guys WHY every aspect of his appearance is important. Short version: If you take care of yourself you will take care of me! If you care about your appearance, you have self respect. That means you are confident, the most attractive quality.

The number one STEEL BALLS PRINCIPLE?

First you have to look like someone she wants to talk with.

Aloha, RDS

Comments welcome. HOWEVER: continue posting your "clever" put downs at soc.singles for the amusement of the other losers who have only the www for companionship and sex.

BITTER WOMEN HOPELESS OR NOT?

You say that by the time women reach their 30’s many have become bitter and hardened. Is the damage irreversible? If not, how can you spot the ones that can bloom again?
Gene O’Roark, Nashville

Bitterness is what long term resentment turns into. Resentment is what unexpressed anger turns into. Anger is what one feels when one is hurt or indignant. Anger is a survival emotion, as normal and natural as crying or joy.

When you step on your female cat’s tail by accident, she does not, grit her teeth and maintain an image of feminine decorum, now does she. She gets angry, hisses, bares her teeth ready to fight and kill, sticks out her claws and whacks you on the leg.

She expresses her anger from the hurt you caused her. Her anger made you stop hurting her. Survival! So, in only a matter of minutes, the relationship you have with your cat goes right back to healthy and normal.

Question 1: Is the damage irreversible?

Answer 1: First you have to know what caused the damage to see if it can be reversed. Here’s how women become bitter and hard.

In our culture, women are indoctrinated against expressing anger when they are hurt or feel indignant. Instead, when they are hurt they are taught to cry. To compound the neurosis our culture induces, men are indoctrinated to never cry when they feel sadness, helplessness or pain. In fact, to never cry under any circumstances, even death. Instead they are taught that the only emotion permitted is anger.

So, a typical young couple marries. The man never cries. The woman never gets angry. Rather, the woman sits on her anger for three or four years, then in one defining moment she loses her temper and goes on a wild rampage of destruction, both physical and verbal.

A few weeks after it’s over she is shocked by her behavior and vows to never get angry again because she hurt her children, her husband and her parents as well as embarrassing herself completely. Her humiliation is caused by what she sincerely believes a female is supposed to be like and behave like.

The man in this situation is stunned by the ferocity of her anger. He had no idea she was angry. He had no idea he was irritating her every day by leaving the wet towel on the floor, forgetting to shop, ridiculing her mother and on and on because she did not express her anger so he kept on hurting her.

She begins to resent him about the second year and deeply after their first child. I could go on with the dynamics of how a marriage dies, but you only need to know that this is the fate of couples who do not know how to express their feelings, especially negative emotions. Which couples are those? All of them.

So, they divorce. She is 28 with custody of two kids, has no job skills and has to work at an entry level job. She’s tired every night. Her parents lay guilt trips on her. Her ex-husband hassles her. Her children become burdens, not joys.

Every time she meets a guy, she has to chase around for baby sitters so he soon disappears. The only guys who will date her are divorced men who also have children. That’s not much fun. She wants to go back and be young again, to live, to enjoy life and sex and men.

Every attempt at getting her needs met ends in hurt at the hands of a man who does not want to “get too involved.” He uses her and drops her. She is frustrated at every turn. She is disappointed in life and love. She is hurt and disillusioned. She is lonely and horny. This is the state she lives in for years on end with no relief in sight.

Now you know how she feels and you know why. Can she stop being this way and become a new, different, happy human being?

As a Humanistic psychologist, I say, of course she can. I have worked with many women in this predicament and seen them stick with it until they recover their joy for life go on to live happily ever after. I have also seen women in this plight come into therapy and quit after only six weeks. Why some stick with it and why some don’t is explained by the somewhat circular argument, “To change, the client has to really want to change.”

On the way to mental health, the client goes through a process of self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-assertiveness and accepting personal responsibility for her life. That is the pathway back to being an integrated, whole human being.

To travel this road, the woman must be brave (must want to change) above all else. She must go back in her life and relive the pain and sorrow and fear, and even terror, as well as moments of horrible trauma. She must be aware of how she avoids these feelings today.

She must accept that these things happened to her and that she alone is responsible for accepting what it means to her and her future.

She must assert herself and change how she behaves and reacts toward her parents, children, ex-husband, boss, female friends and even service people. She must accept full, complete and total responsibility for her life from this moment forward.

Implied Question: Are there very many women who can overcome their bitterness.

Answer: No, not many. Most women fester there until after menopause. About seven years later, many women are able to accept that the world is the way it is and that they were operating on a faulty set of principles. These women are also able to see that their parents and society are, and were, wrong to teach them that they would only be a success if they became a “good wife and mother.” The rest are grumpy, angry, bitter old ladies.

Question 2: If not, how can you spot the ones that can bloom again?

Answer 2: To spot one who has potential, look for a woman who has already decided what the post menopausal women above decide.

WARNING: Don’t try to change anybody! She is what she chooses to be, just as you are what you choose to be. We are what we do, or do not do. Doing or not doing is a choice.

SEXUAL SURRENDER

New research indicates that parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are switched off when a woman is having an orgasm. It was also found that as a woman climaxes, an area of the brain that governs emotional control is also heavily deactivated.

"The fact that there is no deactivation in faked orgasms means a basic part of a real orgasm is letting go," said neuroscientist Gert Holstege, presenting his findings Monday at the annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology.

Brain activity was measured during rest, while they faked an orgasm and while they experienced genuine orgasm. When women faked the part of the brain governing conscious action lit up. It was not activated during genuine orgasm. The most striking results were seen in the parts of the brain that shut down.

"During orgasm, there was strong, enormous deactivation in the brain. During fake orgasm, there was no deactivation of the brain at all. None," Holstege said. "It looks like to have an orgasm, you need to not be fearful or full of anxiety."

STEELE SEZ: Homo sapiens are mammals. In the world of mammals, the female willingly submits to being mounted and penetrated by the male she chooses from all the males courting her. Other than homo sapiens, female mammals capable of orgasm achieve orgasm regularly and often. Among primitive human cultures the results are the same. As anthropologist Margaret Mead noted, in Samoa all women orgasm.

Female mammals do not doubt the joy of sexual surrender. It is natural and normal until religion or feminism or MTV intervene.

In America, although the homo sapiens female submits to being penetrated, she often does not surrender sexually. There are many reasons why she chooses not to: she does not admire and respect the male, she believes that sexual surrender leads to being controlled by the male, or she fears pregnancy. There are many others.

Only about 30% of women achieve orgasm via intercourse in the United States. 100% of Samoan women did in the 1930s.

The Power of Sexual Surrender is the only rational work on feminine sexual psychology ever written. Marie N. Robinson MD, psychiatrist, devoted her practice to the treatment of frigidity. Politically incorrect, it is out of print!

How’s this for PC HERESY?

"Men are designed for mastery of the external (physical) world, and women for mastery of the internal (spiritual) world and the home. These are not social induced roles as feminists wish they were. "Women are designed for duties different from those of the marketplace, another kind of stress entirely," writes Robinson. They "tend to lose their essential womanliness if they stay [in the marketplace] by choice."

Dr. Robinson says frigid women universally adopt the feminist view that men exploit woman. And often believe that being a wife and mother is demeaning.

These beliefs create an "emotional logjam" that impedes sexual response and psychological development.

Dr. Robinson writes that once the emotional "log jam" is removed, a woman's natural instincts will flow and health will be restored. Essentially this involves "allowing herself to trust her husband in a very deep sense. It means that she finally realizes that she no longer has to fear or oppose his strength, but that she can rely on it to protect her, to give her the secure climate necessary for the full flowering of her femininity."

The woman who mistrusts her husband's love and, as a consequence, her own femininity has a "difficult, painful, frenetic" approach to life. She is at war with herself. In bed, she has to feel "in control all the time."

For a profound vaginal orgasm, Robinson writes, "the excitement comes from the act of surrender. There is a tremendous surging, physical ecstasy in the yielding itself, in the feeling of being the passive instrument of another person."

"Love means, in its very deepest sense union; union between individuals. . . the most basic and profound urge we have and its power for good is illimitable. . . the lover becomes as important as oneself. This fact is why real love never leads to domination or to a struggle for power."

STEELE SUMMARIZES: The term "sexual surrender" means an emotional yielding that allows a woman to sexually let loose, freely and completely. To achieve this, the woman must TRUST herself first and must also DEEPLY TRUST the man.

Men, you must earn her trust in you. How? By being a man in the fullest sense of being a strong, reliable, protector and provider. And being assertive and dominant when required.

All of the above presumes that you are an experienced lover, capable of seduction and foreplay, plenty of self confidence and self respect and all the while you radiate burning desire thru every pore!

And you can sustain rhythmic thrusting for a minimum of 10 minutes. Beyond that, her orgasm requires that she TRUST herself and surrenders.

When you have earned her trust and are a self confident man, it is up to her to COME to the party.

This is here because many men belive that they are responsible for the woman's orgasm. They are up to a point. I just want men to know when they have done all that they can!

Aloha, RDS

Please continue to post your "clever" remarks in soc.singles newsgroup.

KNOW MONEY or NO WOMEN

Today, one of the guys in my coaching program posted this. He's 30. About 3 months ago he walked out of a 6 year relationship that had run it's course.

Before that he had been to a couple of Joanna's Dress for Dating Success events, three The Right Attitude workshops and some of my Personal Growth sessions. All of that gave him the support and courage as well as the ability to see his life had been going down the drain for YEARS!

This is a very long yet very POWERFUL post on money and women and the power of money and the actual use for money.

NICK SEZ: So, yesterday I was talking with one of the managers I know at work, about buying my own place. We were talking about the pros and cons, especially living onthe westside of LA. He suggested I maybe look in Long Beach. I said, Icouldn't because if I had to get a new job, it's toofar to drive somewhere where the studios are. He mentioned there are a lot of technology places inIrvine. Out of my mouth came the words, "I'd moveback to Florida before I worked in Irvine." Well,that was the truth.

Anyway, I started thinking about some of the stuff about Fuck You Money. Here are some of my notes I had culled from the TFA.

VULGAR ASIDE: The Fucking Archives named in honor of a saying from my Tech Writing days in aerospace. We had a 2 inch high rubber stamp made with the acronym RTFM. When a field engineer or tech would fax us with some problem that could have been easily fixed had he read the manual, I would stamp his fax with RTFM and send it back along the bottom was scrawled READ THE FUCKING MANUAL!

TFA has 20,000 messages culled from 55,000. These posts have answers to 99.5% of the problems men face with life and women. Only guys who are in the Coaching Program have access to this priceless collection.

FUCK YOU MONEY

There a few guys who did not read Office Politicsand/or they read it and decided to ignore the concept of FUCK YOU MONEY.

Money is your only friend, in the end.

Friends will desert you. Parents will die. Wives will cheat and leave.

If you don't have money, you're dog shit.

If you don't have money, you will sing "His tune anddance his jig."

If you want to be happy, money won't do it. But if you don't have money, you will never be happy.

Money is only the power to say, FUCK YOU.

ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE MONEY ENOUGH TO PICK AND CHOOSE: What you what to do make money. Where you want to be geographically. Where you live, quiet, safe, private house or noisy,dangerous apartment complex. What you drive. Thrashed something or quiet, safe a/c, stereo, reliable car with class.

RTFM -- Office Politics.

To whomever whined about having to do something he didn't like:

YOU HAVE TO EAT SHIT. SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE, GET DIRTY,GET TIRED, BE LONELY, BE FRUSTRATED EFC. You don't go from $20k to $100k unless you have something THEY WILL PAY FOR.

You may prefer making china dolls and photographing nudes, but that has to wait until you can say FUCK YOU.

I don't want to have to 'splain this fundamental fact again.

NO MONEY = NO WOMEN

FUCK YOU MONEY means you have $100K or more in thebank where widows and orphans keep their money.

It just sits there, you don't invest it or spend it.It just sits.

You go about your life. Your boss gives you shit, you say, "FUCK YOU."

Your boss says more overtime, you say FUCK YOU.

As to "balancing" once you have a quiet safe place to live, reliable presentable car, clothes and music, you have arrived. You can now work for whomever you want for as long as you want and as little or as much as you want.

If you have a house payment of $5000 a month, you are a MOE-RON in my view. You are a wage slave. If you have a house payment of $2000 you are approaching to point where you need $200,000 in the bank.

If you have car payments of more that $100, you are a MOE-RON in my view. You need only reliability andpreventability. The rest is ego aggrandizement.

Eight weeks of not working requires that you can pay for the rent/house car etc and sit in the backyard reading sci-fi, go to Debbie's and take her a goldankle bracelet, then go out to dinner at ChezBelowmeand spend $250, then go to the Hilton and sit in the Jacuzzi and order room service the next two days while eating, swimming, playing backgammon on the balcony and watching the sun go down before you romp in the bed with Debbie for hours.

THIS REQUIRES A "BALANCED" VIEW OF WHAT'S GOOD AND PRACTICAL AND RIGHT.

Let me quote Volume II - Good friends, good food, good conversation and great sex in any order you like. Those are the only things worthwhile.

That does not take a $5000 house payment or $700 car payment.

THAT TAKES A SENSE OF WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT IN LIFE.

Live as if you only have three years left and you will make no big mistakes.
NATHANIEL BRANDEN

BALANCING ACT?

A BALANCED VIEW OF LIFE and what is really worthwhile.

YOU ARE 45, HOW MANY YEARSOF GOOD, ALIVE, ENERGETIC LIFE DO YOU HAVE LEFT?

AT 56, PROSTATE CANCER ENTERED MY LIFE.

Perhaps I should have flown airplanes more, but in SoCal it wasn't fun any longer. Beyond that, no regrets.

WHO knows when the Big C will enter your life?

When that happens everything else becomes very unimportant.

LIVE NOW. THE FUTURE IS A DREAM.

Just ask yourself

WHAT WOULD I NOT PUT UP WITH IF I HAD THREE YEARS TO GO?

If you have only 3 years, you wouldn't use heroin or rob banks.

If you have only 3 years to live, what should you be doing tonight that you are not doing?

We are all trying to be self actualized individuals.

Warning -- FINE POINT.

We do, or we do not, we don't try.

Self actualized people have enough, air, water, food,sex, security and love . . . their human needs are met.

ONLY THEN CAN ONE BECOME SELF ACTUALIZED.

UNMET NEEDS DRIVE EVERYTHING.

YOU CAN'T TRY TO BECOME SELF ACTUALIZED ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN TRY TO BECOME HAPPY.

Doing what YOU want to do that's how you become Self Actualized.

TIME, FREE TIME only comes when you have FUCK YOU MONEY,

All of this takes smarts,

NOT IQ SMARTS, COMMON SENSE AND ACCEPTING REALITY.

That is if "this" means enjoying good friends, good food, good conversation and great sex.

IF "this" means something else you did not understand what's ACTUALLY worthwhile, explained above.

Money prevents working for someone, somewhere doing something that deadens you.

Constant cash flow? Well I worked six months and fucked off for six months for years on end!

I had no CASH FLOW, zero. I HAD FUCK YOU MONEY and I saved my money when I was working and lived well below my means so that I could have 6 months of FREE TIME.

FREE TIME IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING ON THE PLANET.

If you work 50 weeks a year for chump change for five years you have nuttin.

If you work 50 weeks a year for $100k and spend $90k see above.

If you work two years for $100k and don't have $50K in the bank at the end of the second year, see above.

If you work four years for $100k and don't have fuck you money, you be dum.

You life begins on your terms only when you can say FUCK YOU and maintain your lifestyle.

If you have lifestyle that requires car payments and house payments and child support and so on, you have to figure out what can stay and what's got to go in order for you to end up with FUCK YOU MONEY.

Those who don't want to suck it up and sacrifice and reduce expenses to accumulate FUCK YOU MONEY, will be living hand to mouth for the rest of their lives, never feeling safe, secure and isolated from the Winds of Change.

You can't have your cake and eat Debbie Too.

> I have been self employed for about 20 years and haven't danced a jig> for an employer in a long time. I even pick andchoose my clients.

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN MAUI RIGHT NOW? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT?

> And I will fire a client if they are too much trouble. I live off of> my wit's doing investments for my clients and charge them an ongoing> quarterly fee. I like what I'm doing, it has a more than adequate> constant steady cash flow and I plan on doing this until I'm 105 or> so.

Jesus h. Kerist. This is not becoming self actualized

This is becoming rigormortized.

What the is self espressive, self expansive, self revealing, selfanyfuckingthing about telling others what to do with their money?

What is YOU about that?

What does FRED dream about?

I can't imagine how telling some retiree what to do with his money is fulfilling?

Do you want to push other people's money around and take a cut until you are dead?

Investing other people's money is not self actualizing.

Consulting is not self actualizing.

Saying to client a, you should buy microsoft at $99 is not self actualizing.

Something like paddling a canoe on an empty lake at dawn reciting your own poetry SELF ACTUALIZING. Anything that fills you with JOY is self actualizing.

Epilogue:

Fred quit my discussion list shortly after this. That was about 4 years ago. I predict he is still pushing other people's money around and still taking dance lessons hoping to meet Miss Right. Or he's dead from Jack Daniels or Smith and Wesson to the head.

What will you be doing 1095 days from now? That's Branden's 3-years mentioned above.

Comments are welcome.

Post clever putdowns at soc.singles newsgroup.

Aloha, RDS