It's never too late to appreciate fathers in
America
A day late and a dollar short - consistency is important too
June 23, 2004
by
Jim Untershine
Father's Day is the holiday that allows us to congratulate our father
for having unprotected sex with our mother. My situation allows further
celebration for my father's decision to not enter the priesthood.
These are the life saving decisions that a family man makes prior
to becoming a father. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but
it sure means a lot to me.
Although everyone on the planet has a biological father, some are
not lucky enough to know them. Still others know their father and
want to be with them, but are somehow unable to do so. I was lucky
enough to always be with my father, which allowed me to reap the benefits
of his wisdom, guidance, and unconditional support.
My father served in the United States Air Force and then received
a degree in psychology. He was enterprising enough to use his college
education to convince Aerojet General to hire him as a Human Factors
engineer. Getting his foot in the door of the aerospace industry allowed
him to evolve and adapt into a Reliability engineer, which moved our
family from Sacramento, CA (Aerojet) and then Long Beach, CA (Douglas)
and then Biloxi, MS (Litton). After my father's retirement he contributed
to the efforts of Robert Truax in developing a commercial spacecraft
to win the ANSARI X Prize competition
that has recently caught the public's eye.
But children usually never admire their father in terms of their
academic or professional achievements, or their financial successes
or failures. We usually take for granted the food and clothing and
the house they maintained and the health care and educational expenses.
When we attempt to recount our life experience with our father it
is more along the lines of his selfless endeavors.
If my dad didn't set the bar of fatherhood high enough for his four
sons to clear - my parents celebrated their 50th wedding
anniversary last year. My father's parents also achieved this
accomplishment, but this family tradition may be interrupted by this
new age of no-fault divorce. I adamantly believe that this abbreviated
depiction of "Responsible Fatherhood", was primarily the
consequence of "Healthy Marriage" which is achieved due
to love for family and the dedicated teamwork of two parents, rather
than a government program.
As the father of three daughters, my journey through fatherhood involves
an uncharted path. The examples of fatherhood extended to sons do
not always apply to daughters. A son who wishes to follow his father's
footsteps must evolve and adapt to the environment he is forced to
raise his children.
I received a degree in Electrical Engineering and was hired by Northrop
as a control systems designer in California. In contrast with my father's
ability to take his sociological degree and convert it to engineering,
I am attempting to do the opposite. This decision was not only prompted
by the wrongful termination of my 15-year marriage, or the wrongful
termination of my 13-year employment, but because of my concern for
the safety of my daughters. The mother of a child in the State of
California is transformed into a weapon of mass destruction that can
be detonated upon walking into Family Court. The cat is out of the
bag regarding Family Law injustice, and is provoking fathers to attempt
to disarm their Family Law assailant by misdirecting violence towards
mothers and children.
As a concerned father with insight into an out of control Family
Law system, I am forced to conscientiously object to it any way I
can. The winds of change are gathering strength and the exploitation
of children for money will soon be recognized and stopped. In the
meantime, I refuse to discourage marriage or raising a family, since
this would be admitting to my children that parents are powerless
to guarantee their preservation,
protection, or prosperity.
"If you want to believe in it, then believe in it. Just
because something isn't true doesn't mean you can't believe in it.
Sometimes, the things that may or may not be true are the things that
a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good,
and that honor, courage, and virtue means everything. Power and money
- money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil.
And that true love never dies. You remember that - and whether it
is true or not - you'll see that those things are the only things
worth believing in." ("Second Hand Lions")