Air-Brushing Dads Out of the Picture
June 9, 2004
by Carey Roberts
When Vladimir Lenin seized power in 1917, he knew full well that the traditional
family would fiercely resist his grand scheme to consolidate state power.
So he set out to ruthlessly destroy the family.
Lenin banned church weddings. Women were sent out to work in the factories
and the fields. Communal dining halls, sewing centers, and day care
facilities were established. Abortion was legalized. Divorce became
a simple administrative routine.
So it’s an interesting coincidence that over the last 30 years,
an unholy alliance of feminists and liberals has also targeted the traditional
family for radical transformation. In particular, they put fatherhood
into their ideological cross-hairs. Father Knows Best became an anathema.
Feminists began their campaign by turning the meaning of Patriarch
on its head. They changed it from a term of veneration into a word of
contempt. Fathers were smeared as “patriarchal oppressors”
who imposed “male hegemony” on their wives and children.
Once men had been placed on the defensive, the fem-liberals preceded
to float one myth after another. Sadly, these four claims are now accepted
by many Americans without question or doubt:
Men routinely batter their wives. They break up marriages. Fathers
often abuse their children. Dads don't pay their child support.
But let’s stop to examine the facts:
- Women are just
as likely to initiate domestic violence as men.
- Two-thirds of divorces are initiated
by wives.
- According to a 2002
government report, “The vast majority of children were maltreated
by one parent, usually the mother.”
- Fathers who have a job and are given access to their children almost
always make their child
support obligations.
Once the myths were firmly entrenched, feminists began to push through
laws that were billed as protecting and empowering women. But they really
had the effect of marginalizing dads. These programs included the Violence
Against Women Act, no-fault divorce laws, and a draconian child support
bureaucracy. And welfare benefits to low-income women were cut off if
the father still lived at home.
And the calumnies didn’t stop. Fathers were stereotyped as insensitive
buffoons and as a bad influence on boys who needed to get in touch with
their inner child. In short, dads were non-essential.
These efforts to undermine fatherhood were, by any objective measure,
extraordinarily successful. In 1960, only 8% of children did not live
with their dads. By 1996, this figure had tripled to 25%, making the
United States the world leader in fatherless families.
Among Blacks, the problem reached crisis proportions. In 1950, only
17% of births were to unmarried women. By 1990, out-of-wedlock births
reached 65%. So by 1996, 58% of Black kids lived with their mother only.
But the story doesn’t stop there.
Family disruption begets social pathology – we know that from
what happened in Soviet Russia. The fem-liberals didn’t want to
be blamed for the social chaos that was certain to ensue.
Somehow they had to cover their tracks.
So they concocted the Mother of All Myths -- the Abandoning Dad, the
countless hordes of men who would desert family and home to indulge
in a midlife fling. (Why adulterous women are routinely given a free
pass remains a mystery to me.) This vastly exaggerated urban legend,
endlessly recycled in women’s magazines and daytime TV programs,
would serve to divert public attention away from the disastrous social
legislation that spawned father absence.
The rise of fatherlessness in our country did not occur because dads
decided one day to get up and leave. It happened because they were pushed
out.
But the myths became so deeply engrained, and fathers so completely
vilified, that no one is willing to listen to their side of the story
any more.
Carey Roberts
DISCUSS THIS IN THE FORUM!
Carey Roberts is a researcher and consultant who tracks
gender bias in the mainstream media.
|