The Breadwinning Blues

October 29, 2003

A recent article in Newsweek magazine ("She Works, He Doesn't," May 12) tells the story of Greg and Jennie Wetterman of Dallas. For years, Greg prospered by working the Internet industry. During that time, Jennie went on a lark: "The summer of 2001, I was at the pool every day. I went scuba diving, sky diving -- I must have read 30 books that summer."

Then the bubble burst, and Greg was without a job. So Jennie accepted a management job at Old Navy, and Greg took care of the kids. And to Greg's delight, he began to explore his dream of filmmaking. Despite the uncertainty of financial success, he felt fulfilled.

But Jennie saw it differently: "I would just like for everybody to do their part." Translation: Jennie wanted Greg to drop his filmmaking aspirations and become the primary breadwinner again.

Apparently Jennie had forgotten about her afternoons sipping lemonade at the poolside while Greg was hustling a paycheck.

The story of Greg and Jennie exposes a deep inequality in American families: husbands are expected to be the primary breadwinner, while their wives feel entitled to exercise their choice to be a part-time mom, engage in a career, or pursue their bliss.

The burden of taking on the primary breadwinner role taxes men's spirits, their health, and sometimes their lives.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics just issued a report listing the most fatal occupations in the United States (www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/cfoi.pdf). Timber cutters, fishmen, metal workers, and roofers are among the most dangerous jobs. No surprise, the workers in these jobs are 99% male.

Watch a movie like The Perfect Storm, and you'll quickly realize that these grizzled men don't do their work because they love the great out-of-doors. They do the work because the pay is good, and they need to support their families. Mention the phrase, "personally-fulfilling career options," and they'll stare at you like you're crazy.

I have known many men who have lost their jobs, but I have never once heard of a man's wife offered to relieve him of his burden as primary breadwinner. Rather, the silent expectation is, "Dear, you need to go find a good-paying job as soon as possible."

In fact, I know of several men who got burned out on their work, and made an offer to their wives: "Honey, I'll take care of the kids and the house, and you'll be responsible for earning the paycheck."

Funny, none of those wives jumped at the opportunity.

And I have known a number of women who decided they were tired of the rat race and opted for early retirement. But I've never met a man who availed himself of this opportunity.

So as primary breadwinners, men work longer hours and more years, and take on jobs that are more dangerous and less fulfilling. They do it because they know it is their duty to earn money. And they do it without complaint, so their wives and children can be comfortable.

The supreme irony, of course, is when radical feminists take the common-sense fact that male breadwinners earn more money than their wives. Then they turn it around and make the claim that women are victims of "wage discrimination."

One of these days, someone is going to blow the lid off the sinister motives of radical feminism.