February 25, 2005

I told you it could happen. And it’s happening.

A nationwide poll conducted last week by the Siena College Research Institute said more than six in 10 voters believe the United States is ready for a woman president in 2008. Translation: President Hillary.

I couldn’t care less if our president is male or female -- I don’t care about the president’s ethnicity, skin color, age or sex. All I care about is what he or she stands for and how effectively he or she executes the job.

I like how President Bush is executing his job. I don’t agree with all of his decisions, but I like his plan to promote an Ownership Society. The best way to secure the pursuit of happiness in America is to unleash the power of the individual.

And the best way to unleash the power of individuals is to reduce taxes and regulations and let people make their own decisions. Economic growth will result, and growth is our primary solution to a host of government challenges and obligations.

Which is why I’m already worried about President Hillary.

If her past ideas are any indication, and they are, she has a whole different idea about government. She believes that villages, not individuals, are the way to do things. Democrats love villages because they require new taxes, new regulations and lots and lots of government controls.

But Hillary is no dummy. She knows that if she has any hope of becoming president, she can’t say such things. To win, she must steal away votes from the red states -- and the common-sense folks who voted for Bush -- which means she has to conceal what she really thinks about governing.

Lately, she’s been making Barry Goldwater sound like an FDR appointee. Just a few weeks ago she said she thought the abortion and anti-abortion people really do have lots in common. Last week, she sounded like the Gipper himself -- she she said we can’t give a fixed pull-out date for our troops in Iraq because it would embolden terrorists.

Her strategy could work.

If she runs in 2008, she could hold every state John Kerry won -- a monkey could if he registers as a Democrat. All she’d have to count on is that a handful of voters in the other states will completely forget all the stuff she said and did when her husband was president.

Which brings me to my larger worry: First Lady Bill Clinton.

I like Bill Clinton. He’s a very entertaining man. His peccadilloes gave me an endless amount of material for eight years. I’d love to meet him for a beer some time (so long as my sisters are out of town.)

But I tremble at the though of what would happen if he becomes First Lady. Considering the trouble he got us into when he had the most time-consuming job in the world, how would he conduct himself with lots of free time? We’d have to establish a special Secret Service detail not to protect Clinton from the public, but the public from Clinton.

If he becomes First Lady, the White House Easter Egg Roll will feature college coeds, not children. The White House kitchen will be outsourced to Hooters. The Dominoes people will operate a franchise from the Lincoln Bedroom.

Goodness knows what his mission will be. Laura Bush promoted literacy. Hillary promoted Hillary. Barbara Bush promoted literacy and volunteerism. Nancy Reagan sought to end drug abuse as part of her “Just Say No” campaign. I think Clinton will embrace “Just Say No,” too -- “Just Say No to Abstinence, Fidelity and Hillary.”

You may think I’m joking around here but I’m not. We’ve had no great scandals or embarrassments under Bush. Adults are working with other adults to face down many daunting adult problems. You may not agree with Bush's approach but do you really want to go back to the Clinton era.

I couldn’t care less if our next president is a woman, just so long as she isn’t Hillary. I offer proof. President Condi Rice?

Tom Purcell

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