More evidence
is in that men are turning into women, which is why my brothers need a
little talk.
For years magazines and television have depicted numerous images of curvy,
gorgeous women. They purposely made women feel inferior and insecure,
so that women would buy the cosmetics, clothing, diet products and other
unnecessary items they advertised.
In the past decade, men have been targeted likewise. Magazines and television
routinely depict fit, muscled men with the same annoying intensity that
they have always depicted curvy, gorgeous women. That got two researchers
at the University of Wisconsin thinking: Do men now feel as inferior and
insecure as women?
According to Reuters Health, the researchers subjected 45 males and females
to a series "fit body" images, then assessed their mood levels, self-esteem
and body-image anxiety. Their findings: Men and women now feel EQUALLY
awful about themselves thanks to the media.
So it's time to give my brothers a little talk.
Men, you're allowing yourselves to be turned into a bunch of self-absorbed
twits. It's terrible enough that women have been made to feel bad about
how they look, but you? What's next? Are you going to start asking your
buddies if your pants make you look fat?
The fact is we come from a long and proud heritage as men. Our predecessors
fought valiantly in bloody battles. They felled forests with their bare
hands. They mined for coal, molded steel and used their brawn to build
a country.
If you ever asked one of these boys about his mood, personal self esteem
or body-image anxiety, you'd get an unwelcome grumble and possibly four
knuckles against the side of your noggin.
These fellows had a sense of themselves as men. They defined themselves
by what they did -- how well they performed in their jobs and provided
for their families -- not by how they LOOKED.
But you? You've bought the lies that men need to bring out their inner
woman. Today, the landscape is polluted with sensitive new-age guys. Touchy-feely
guys with soft voices and caring eyes. Guys who cry at anniversaries and
wedding showers. Guys who clap heartily when junior goes number two.
Oh, I understand. What motivates you - what has always motivated us -
is to attract and please our women. It is true that today's women are
more superficial than ever. A recent study of single women in Washington,
D.C. shows that more than half place GQ looks as number 1 on their list,
which is why we place our looks so high on our list.
But it's all poppycock, men. What women really want is genuine men who
show they are good, sensitive and caring through actions not words. They
want men who are confident and unafraid to be true to their male nature.
That is why we all need to reclaim our inner fathers and grandfathers.
Men, we need to use fewer adjectives and more verbs. We need to talk on
the telephone less and nap on the couch more. The garage is our special
place, and it's nobody's business how messy it is. The barbecue, too,
is ours alone and no child or woman should be permitted near it.
We need to drink more hard liquor, eat more beef and cuss more. We need
to spend more time with our sons in front of bonfires, singing camp songs
and talking about sports. In dealing with our sons, we must be more rigid
in our discipline with them, as our fathers were with us.
In dealing with our women, we must stop cowering and stand up for ourselves.
No son of ours should ever be named Gilad. Nor should he ever be dressed
in knickers and matching saddle shoes because it makes him look "cute."
And, men, exercise is not a bad thing. But when you go to the gym, never
look at yourself in the mirror when others are present. Use only free
weights, not the chrome-plated stuff. And for God's sake get rid of the
fingerless gloves.
Most importantly, forget about your six-pack abs. The only six-pack abs
a real man wants is the kind our fathers and grandfather worked hard to
create: a beer belly big enough to balance a six-pack.
Sure, such a belly may be unappealing to some women, but it will save
you several trips to the kitchen the next time the Steelers are playing.
