These days, you can accuse people of being any number of bad things, ranging from being rude to being greedy, and somehow they will find a way to take it as a compliment. But if you even suggest that someone lacks a sense of humor, you will either get a call from his lawyer or a punch in the nose.

The other day, my wife and I were driving along, the car radio tuned to a syndicated talk show host named Dennis Prager. Over the years, I have found him to be an intelligent, articulate spokesman for conservative values. On this occasion, however, he was devoting a good deal of time to telling us how funny he is. When I first heard him say it, I turned to my wife and said, “Now that’s funny!” After he said it three or four times, though, I turned to my wife and said, “Gee, he really means it.” After a while, Prager opened his phone lines to callers and, predictably, his many fans couldn’t wait to assure him that he was the most amusing American to come along since Will Rogers last twirled a lasso.

When I got home, I felt it was my duty to set the man straight. I sent Prager an e- mail, and explained that although I considered myself an admirer, I didn’t think that by any stretch of the imagination could humor be included among his many virtues. I was not a Johnny-come-lately, after all. I had listened to his show for years, and had read a few of his books and several of his articles, and while I had found a good deal of wisdom in those thousands of words, I had yet to come across a single example of wit.

I concluded my remarks by suggesting that when he believed he was being amusing, he was merely being amiable and jovial. That is to say, occasionally after he himself would say something, he would chuckle in an avuncular manner. I suggested as kindly as I could that, by definition, being funny means having the ability to make other people laugh.

I never heard back from Prager. But had I prompted a response – something other than a rude suggestion as to where I should stick my opinion – he might have said, and quite rightly, that even if I didn’t think he was hilarious, that was obviously a minority opinion. What’s more, the fact that my stock in trade over the course of a very long writing career has been comedy doesn’t make me right.

After all, there is probably nothing about which people disagree more than whether something or someone is amusing. For instance, if I asked you to tell me what W.C. Fields, Monty Python, Abbott and Costello, Danny Kaye, the Marx Brothers, Garrison Keillor, Gary Trudeau, and the Three Stooges, all have in common, I doubt if any of you would agree with me that the one major item is that they’re not funny. Frankly, I would rather visit the dentist than suffer through a Monty Python movie or a Keillor monologue, but I have to acknowledge that millions of very smart people disagree with me. While it is true that I might wonder what’s wrong with you if you told me you found the antics of Larry, Moe and Curly, rollicking, I couldn’t really make a case that I’m right and you’re wrong. If you laugh out loud every time they get a poke in the eye, the argument is over.

Having shared with you the identities of those people who provoke groans in me rather than laughter, it’s only fair that I name some of the folks who have made me laugh. Among the writers, Robert Benchley, P.J. O’Rourke, Dave Barry and P.G. Wodehouse, top the short list, but not Mark Twain. He was a terrific writer, but I don’t recall his ever making me laugh.

My favorites? On TV: Sid Caesar’s Show of Shows, Frasier, Seinfeld, I Love Lucy, Sgt. Bilko, SCTV, and Amos ‘n’ Andy; movie actors: Buster Keaton, Steve Martin, and Laurel and Hardy; the funniest features would include “My Favorite Wife” and “The Awful Truth” with Cary Grant and Irene Dunne, “Some Like it Hot,” “The In- Laws,” “Broadway Danny Rose,” and “My Cousin Vinny.” The funniest cartoons were those starring Tom and Jerry. The funniest comic strip was “The Far Side,” the funniest record was “The 2,000 Year Old Man,” the funniest stand-up was Alan King, and the funniest radio show was Jack Benny’s.

I can hear some of you now: “What?! No “Annie Hall”? No Charlie Chaplin? No “Animal House”? No “This is Spinal Tap”? No Friends? No James Thurber? No Jim Carrey? No “Something About Mary”? No Saturday Night Live? No “Dr. Strangelove”? No Dennis Prager, for heaven’s sake?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and no!

Finally, for those of you who are wondering why on my entire list of superb mirth-makers, there isn’t a single politician, the explanation is quite simple. Before you can be classified as truly funny, you first have to be funny on purpose.

Burt Prelutsky

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©2004 Burt Prelutsky

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