CHICAGO,
Aug. 13-- The following is
a statement on a new Florida adoption law by Jeffery M. Leving, president
emeritus, Fatherhood Educational Institute:
A new Florida adoption law now requires a mother to make an exhaustive
effort to notify the biological father so he has the opportunity to
stop the adoption. In cases where the birth father cannot readily
be identified or located after the required search, the mother must
place a legal notice in a local newspaper that includes her name, her
description, the names or the description of the possible father(s),
and the date and city or county of conception.
I commend the Florida legislature and Gov. Bush for their courageous
acknowledgment of the problem birth fathers nationwide face in preventing
adoptions that they don't want or, in too many cases, don't even know
are happening. This progressive law puts teeth into the notification
requirements and attempts to uphold both birth parents' fundamental
constitutional rights to parent their own biological children.
Who could argue with that? Many recently did so after the press
released the story. I was struck, but not surprised, by the extreme
animosity expressed toward fathers by people interviewed in various
media. The misguided thinking goes: Surely these dads don't
know about the pregnancy or that they have a child because they must
be willfully "absent" or runaway dads. Why didn't the father stay in
touch with the mother so he would know she was pregnant? This
thinking ignores the fact that some mothers conceal the pregnancy or
can simply disappear and prevent dad from staying in touch.
Sadly, a father objecting to adoption proceedings or coming forward
after his child was adopted without his knowledge or consent is often
seen as a troublemaker rather than an aggrieved dad trying to protect
his child.
An argument that is seldom put forth is that fathers want notification
to contest an adoption because they want to be responsible and have
meaningful and loving relationships with their children. Why is it so
hard to believe that a man would want to love, nurture, and protect
his own offspring?
We as a society are talking out of both sides of our mouths when we
say we want fathers to be "responsible" and involved, yet when they
come forward, their motives for doing so are denigrated or questioned.
The truth is that most men love their children and want to be there
for them as much as most mothers do.
To me, this is an example of societies' conflicted and stereotypical
thinking regarding dads and men. Unfortunately, male and father bashing
has become so automatic that many people don't even realize that they
are doing it. It's time to raise the collective consciousness. It is
incredibly callous to ignore men's desire to parent their own biological
children and to accuse them of some sinister motive for wanting to have
notification when their offspring is about to be adopted.
Many forget what the Florida legislature was trying to correct by this
legislation, and now the entire adoption statute might be challenged
in the near future. This progressive legislation is attempting to prevent
heart-wrenching "Baby Richard" or "Baby Jessica" situations in which
fit biological fathers, who had not consented to adoption, came back
after the birth of their children and gained custody of them from adoptive
parents.
In my experience, there are far too many similar cases where the pregnancy
or the child's existence is concealed from the biological father. In
one high-profile case, the dad was told his baby was stillborn even
though the child was alive and well. Far too often a fit father
loses his child to an adoptive family forever, anyway. These tragic
cases usually happen quietly behind the scenes.
Consider the following cases:
-- In New York a 20-year-old father lost his son to an adoption against
his will after his ex-girlfriend and her mother concealed the baby boy's
existence. This dad only found out about his son after the ex-girlfriend's
mother relented and told him that the child had been adopted.
-- In West Virginia a mother and her attorney put up the child for adoption
without the father's consent. This father won his $7.8 million suit
against the adoption attorney, the mother, her parents, and others.
He won the lawsuit, but he suffered the loss of his child to an adoption
against his will.
-- In Pennsylvania, a young father, who did everything correctly to
prove his desire to care for his offspring, "Baby M," fought for 4 years
to prevent an adoption of his baby daughter who had been placed, against
his wishes, with a prospective adoptive couple. The adoption agency
that placed the baby had failed to get his consent to the adoption.
He lost precious time with his daughter. The prospective adoptive couple
negotiated an arrangement with the birth father and the child's mother
to try to resolve the sad situation.
The legal process for the dad to contest an adoption mandates that he
receive notice.
Without such notice, the children in these cases can lose a biological
father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and an entire extended family.
We need to make sure the father really wants to relinquish his child
to an adoption to begin with to prevent all this trauma to the child
and everyone else involved. But, it first requires "notice."
I predicted that there would be adoption attorneys who would oppose
this law, and this has happened. I think a part of the real impetus
for this opposition could be the adoption agencies' fear of losing available
children for adoption.
We can't just cut short the adoption process and due process rights
for biological fathers simply because it's more convenient. We're talking
about protecting basic constitutional rights: the freedom to parent
one's own children and the fundamental right of these children to know
and love their parent.
I encourage the Florida legislature to stand strong on their progressive
law and not cave in to archaic thinking that may seek to abolish it.
Other states should follow the lead of Florida and address the issue
and enact laws that provide equal justice for mothers and fathers. As
a society we must recognize and act upon the fact that dads love their
children as much as mothers do.
Jeffrey M. Leving
