Why I Hate Santa
December 25, 2003
People familiar with my writing know that my usual topics are politics, law, aviation, terrorism, and the military. So, to borrow a phrase from those areas, “I’d like to report a hijacking.” The target “vehicle” is an event — the celebration of the birth of Jesus. The hijacker is a mythical fat man in a red suit. For the misdeed of his phony existence, and his efforts to upstage the Son of God, I hate Santa.
I’ve wanted to write an article like this for years, but have not had an outlet. And, others have done a fine job of explaining many of the facts behind some the opinions that I’m expressing here. Particular thanks go to Joe Kovacs (no relation) and Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily for their insightful articles from recent Christmas seasons. I’m especially fond of Farah’s gloves-off defense of Christianity against a secular onslaught.
I use the term “target vehicle” because, just as with the hijacking of an airliner, the helpless passengers are being swept along to a destination other than what they expected when they got aboard. A hijacking is a criminal act in which force or deception (or both) are used to gain control of a vehicle to which the perpetrator is not entitled. So, in the case of Christmas, millions of people that (at least nominally) believe in Jesus and want to celebrate His entry into this world have been hijacked by Santa Claus and his commercialization movement. The hostages that have been hijacked may not even know that the vehicle is headed to a different destination, because of the level of deception used to gain control. How can we Christians recover the asset and save the hostages?
First, we need to identify the problem. In examining the hijacking of Christmas, as in law, I’d like to apply a “four corners” analysis. Let’s look at the problem from the angles of psychology, morphology, economy, and — most importantly — theology. Like the famous story about the Treasury agent that is able to detect counterfeit money by sitting in a room studying real money all day, I’d like to compare the true meaning of Christmas to the hijacked version that has become the focus of our cultural radar. Then, once the problem has been more clearly defined, we can begin to consider a recovery strategy. And, a recovery strategy is definitely needed, because the stakes are very high.
Psychology
The study of the human mind is — pardon the unintentional pun — a “gray area” of science. The structure of the brain has been mapped, its chemicals have been quantified, and its electrical impulses measured. But, the analysis of human thought itself is still a nebulous area of study. The best analytical technique is one that Jesus taught us: the parable. So, here goes. I knew a man years ago. We became good friends, but have lost contact. One year, at Christmas, he and his family invited me to their house. After a great meal, he and I went for a walk in the woods. He was a very devout Christian, with a solid grasp of the Bible. But, it was not always so.
You see, my friend had been raised in a Christian home, but he had rejected the beliefs that his parents tried to pass on. He rejected them at the age of eight! Why? Because he discovered that Santa Claus was not real. He became very angry, because his parents had gone to great lengths to prop up the Santa myth — suit, beard, letters, presents, etc. When his parents revealed that Santa was all a big game, the jilted boy decided that Jesus must be equally fake. My friend did not pick up a Bible again until after he had been enrolled for awhile in an alcohol rehab program at the age of 28. Twenty years of life, spent in misery and stolen from Jesus. Unfortunately, I’ve learned over the years that such a story is not uncommon. What a sad parable of our society. (The above story is not about me. Mine would take too long.)
Consider for a moment the effect on the psychology of young children, then multiply that by the pro-Santa indoctrination they get at the hands of the government school system, where the name of Jesus is considered a cuss-word. Now consider the psychology of millions of fathers, who are expected to live up to this impossible image of an all-giving Santa. Now, consider the effect upon divorced fathers, who must bribe children with presents during “visitation” (a word that should only be used in conjunction with prison), lest those children should report to the court that they were somehow “neglected”. Now, it should be easy to understand why we have a greedy society.
Morphology
There is a branch of linguistics called morphology, which is the study of how words are put together, and how they change over time. We’ve been taught the popular myth of how Santa Claus is the Western European morphology of the name of Saint Nicholas. Although it is historically accepted that Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, was a real person, there is disagreement about many other events attributed to his life. There is little disagreement, however, that there is no real link between those events and Santa Claus.
The closest that one can come to a link is that Saint Nicholas is regarded in some countries as the patron saint of children. That role is largely based upon the stories that, due to his inherited wealth, Nicholas of Myra had purchased many children out of slavery and returned them to their parents. The real Nicholas was also reputed to have sometimes tossed a bag of money into the window of a starving family, and disappeared around the corner before the thankful father could see who had done the act of charity. Those acts were done in Christian love — something that is totally obscured by the modern “welfare state” Santa. Even so, many well-meaning people perform charitable deeds in the name of Santa, while the name of Jesus is verboten in many modern settings in the “land of the free”. (We, as a nation, have forgotten our history. And, we’ve forgotten that, “If the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” [John 8:36])
It is not only the “morphing” of the name of Saint Nicholas that I want to address. I believe it is not without significance that the name Santa Claus has a morphology of its own. When we “morph” the letters of that mythical name, we get a mythical title: Satan Lucas. The first word is obvious. The second one has a hidden meaning. The word “Lucas” is a proper name, which appears to have as its root the Latin word lucaris. That word means “of or belonging to a grove”. The most common usage was the lucaris pecunia, or forest-tax, which was used to pay actors. (You see, the Leftist subsidizing of the arts is not a new concept!) Thus, the “Satan Lucas” is a term related to trees. Are we beginning to see the problem? There has already been much written about the fact that festivals involving trees are often pagan in origin, and are prohibited by the Bible.
Why is the use of trees in celebrations prohibited by God? Well, let’s see. When the perfect creation was corrupted by sin, it was after the serpent (Satan) planted the seeds of doubt (Gen. 3:1) regarding God’s prohibition about a certain tree. Then, sin entered the world because Eve — and then Adam — ate forbidden fruit from that tree. God then posted a guardian angel with a flaming sword (Gen. 3:24), so that Adam and Eve could not return to partake of the Tree of Life. (Having already been introduced to sin by eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, if they had then eaten from the Tree of Life, they would become immortal — like the angels — and thus incapable of being redeemed. Many regard the flaming sword as a punishment, but a wise priest pointed out to me that God put it their for mankind’s protection.) Early in human history, it was a severe form of capital punishment to hanged upon a tree for humiliating display (Gen. 40:19). God commanded that the Hebrews were not to do that to people, “for he who is hanged is accursed of God.” (Deut. 21:23) The curse of God was also upon the nations that worshiped other gods, “...on the high mountains and on the hills and under every green tree.” (Deut. 12:2) The ultimate separation from God occurred when Jesus — a carpenter in His earthly life — was hanged upon a Tree to pay the sin-debt for mankind. There are more of what Joseph Farah calls “little coincidences” like this, but you get the idea. Christmas has been hijacked by Santa and his trees.
But, since the word Lucas has no definitive root, what if the relation to lucaris was an error? OK, let’s take a brief look at the other potential root words.
· lucidus: containing light. This word is closely related to Lucifer, “the bearer of the light”. That was the name of the pre-Fall archangel, who stood in the very presence of God, but rebelled and became Satan. Let’s compare. A star provided light as a sign that Jesus, the “light of the world”, was born. By contrast, Santa Claus (as Satan Lucas), seeks to obscure the celebration of Jesus’ birth by “stealing the light”. That was exactly what the “bearer of the light” had tried to do to God the Father. (You may read the rantings of Satan in the 14th chapter of Isaiah.) Now, the “son” (Satan Lucas) wars against the Son of God. This is even true in the origin of the nickname “Kris Kringle”.
· lucrius: of or pertaining to gain. The season of Christmas is the season of gain for stores that sell people trinkets that they don’t need anyway. (Often, those trinkets are made by slave labor in countries that round-up and persecute Christians.) It is the season of gain for credit-card companies, which profit from people’s purchases when they don’t have money. They make those purchases because they are lying to themselves about their financial condition. The only recorded violent act by Jesus was done against the moneylenders. Need I say more?
· luctatus: a wrestling. As with the stealing of the light, Santa Claus tries to wrestle the attention of believers (and especially their children) away from the truth of Jesus Christ. But, consider the actions of people as they serve Santa Claus, rather than the Son of God. They honk, curse, jostle, and — sometimes literally — wrestle for the Christmas present bargain. All in the pursuit of “filthy lucre” (Old English, from lucrius, above) (For the context, see 1st Samuel 8:3, 1st Peter 5:2, and much of the Epistles Timothy and Titus.)
Every proper name in the Bible has a direct meaning to the life of that person. One of my favorite examples is the story of Nabal (his name means fool). He tried to tangle with David and his men (1st Samuel 25:3-39), and was only saved from a serious thrashing by his wife, Abigail (her name means cause of delight). Ten days later, Nabal dropped dead, and Abigail married David. All of the potential roots of the “morph” of his name put Santa Claus into direct conflict with Jesus. No matter how you slice it, Santa Claus is a servant of Satan. That is why it galls me to hear modern preachers telling their congregations that “there is nothing wrong with Santa”.
Economy
Of all the comparisons that Jesus could have made, He succinctly stated, “You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matt. 6:24) Mammon is a word that means “money”. But, it is more than just money, because money is a tool that man can use. Mammon is an almost-living thing that uses people. Mammon demands to be served, as does Satan. Mammon is a tool (or weapon) of Satan. Santa Claus is the personification of mammon.
The most profitable day of the retail selling year is called “Black Friday”. It is the day after Thanksgiving. Many department stores operate “in the red” all year, and only achieve “black ink” on that day. But, the blackness of that day is clearly visible in the hearts of people, fighting and stealing in the name of “Christmas”. It is a mockery of everything that Jesus taught. (His example was one of “minimalist” living. He said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”) We can get by without most of the junk that is advertised for Christmas, but can the economy get by without the extravagantly selfish teachings of Santa Claus?
There is a great parallel example in the Bible. Saint Paul had traveled from Macedonia into Asia Minor (modern-day Turkey) to preach the gospel. He stayed for awhile in the city of Ephesus. He ran into trouble with the silversmiths, who were making a lot of money by selling idols of the Greek goddess Diana (sometimes known as Artemis). The silversmiths became angry, because if the people became Christians, then they would no longer worship idols, and the silversmiths would go broke. Their “union local” staged a protest march, shouting, “Great is Diana of the Ephesians!” (Acts 19:21-41) When I speak out against the trashing of the “Feast of the Nativity of Our Lord and God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (the “official” name of Christmas), I can just imagine some wild-eyed merchants shouting, “Great is Santa of the Advertisers!”
Theology
By contrast with the greed that is embodied in the idol of Santa Claus (see Colossians 3:5), we look to Jesus — who was both fully human and fully divine — coming down to live in humility. He did not have a “cosmic shopping list”. His prayers were mostly for others. When he knowingly faced a night of mockery, betrayal, beating, and a torturous death the next day, He still refrained from calling upon God to send “more than twelve legions of angels” to rescue Him (Matt. 26:53).
An ancient hymn about the birth of Jesus reminds us that “those who worshiped the stars were taught by a star to adore Thee, the Sun of Righteousness” (see Malachi 4:2). God used every possible means to demonstrate the length to which He will go to save us from our sins. Jesus left the majesty of Heaven to be born in a feeding trough in a stable in a cave. Thirty-three years later, he delayed His return to Heaven, taking a trip into a tomb in another cave. All that to “set the captives free”. But, our modern society rejects that in exchange for fancy boxes and a guy with jelly-belly. Shame on us.
We were warned, too. Jesus said, “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:38) In the traditions of my Carpatho-Russian ancestors, the typical Christmas greeting has two parts: a proclamation and a reply. Instead of saying “merry Christmas” (focus on self), the first person proclaims, “Christ is born!” (focus on Christ) The second person replies, “Glorify Him!” (increased focus on Christ) The closest thing to the intensity of this in modern America is when two paratroopers meet. The first one proclaims, “Airborne!” The second one replies, “All the way!” The mutual affirmation of our faith, and focus on the centrality of Christ, certainly beats the wimpy “merry Christmas”, with its implication that Santa is on his way with more goodies to satisfy our selfish whims. How I would love to teach all of America the simple, but profound, customs of “Russian Christmas”. But, it is not ethnicity, nor denomination, nor custom that matters. Only Jesus matters.
A certain class of angels is designated as the warrior class. They serve under the command of the Archangel Michael. (see Daniel 10:20-21) Scripture tells us that, “... at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow ....” (Philippians 2:10) In my opinion, the idol of Santa Claus has refused to bow to the Lord Jesus. Someday, I hope to watch as the warrior angels force Santa to his knees. Yeah! Maybe I’ll holler, “All the way!”
What’s the plan?
How do we recover Christmas, and rescue those held hostage by Santa Claus? Foremost, there must be a decision in the heart of every Christian believer that nothing is more important that the will of God. (Not even preachers and professors that go along with the ways of this world.) Then, as did King Solomon, pray for wisdom to discern God’s will. Then, resist the ways of the world. Before gorging at those numerous “holiday” parties, consider fasting. Don’t buy trinkets — especially those made in totalitarian countries by slaves that might be persecuted Christians. Burn your images of Santa Claus. Stop bickering about whether we are celebrating on the right date, and simply thank God for going to such a great length — forsaking the majesty of Heaven itself — to take on lowly human flesh to lead us to salvation and eternal life.
And, just exactly how do we accomplish such a lofty task? Well, I don’t sing very well, but I go into a lonely place every Christmas — usually with many tears — and sing.
“Happy birthday, dear Jesus. Happy birthday to You.”
