What Shall We Do With Saddam Hussein?
December 18, 2003
There is no category that properly defines Saddam Hussein, nor the heinous acts that typify the history of his regime in Iraq. Although it is proper to accuse him as a war criminal, it is not sufficient. Saddam’s crimes against humanity began long before Operation Iraqi Freedom, or Operation Desert Storm, or the Iran-Iraq War. Although it is proper to call him a murderer, it is not sufficient. A murderer is such because he has violated the law against murder. For more than three decades, Saddam Hussein was the law in Iraq. Therefore, how do we define his violations of the law?
I suggest that the methods should fit the circumstances.
For starters, the interrogation of Saddam Hussein should not involve any of the “negotiation” that he requested during his capture. According to a special report from Defense Watch magazine, the “spider hole” that he was found hiding in was actually a septic tank. Therefore, he should be accorded all of the rank and privilege of the usual occupants of a septic tank. And, neither any interrogation nor any later trial should be conducted on American soil. Why? Because, as soon as he sets foot on an airplane to come to this country, some whiners will start crying to defend his “constitutional rights”. Does that sound absurd? Don’t forget, exactly that happened over ten years ago — under quite similar circumstances — when our military captured Manuel Noriega. That dictator was even provided a public defender, paid for by American tax dollars. So, we should not bring Saddam Hussein over here unless we want to help pay for the possibility that he will escape the punishment that he so obviously deserves.
Should he be tried in an Iraqi court? No! Remember, in the Middle East, blood runs thicker (and deeper!) than water (or ink). Remember that — even during the restrained occupation of Iraq by the conquering American military, with our high-tech capabilities — Saddam Hussein used his family and tribal ties to elude capture for eight months. Remember that guerilla attacks upon Americans were conducted with the help of a trusted Iraqi police officer that concealed his true allegiance to the Ba’ath Party. With those points in mind, how can we be sure that Saddam loyalists would not rig up a “Runaway Jury” that gives Iraq back to that madman? The only way to ensure that Saddam Hussein will face proper justice is “the old-fashioned way”.
He should be tried, and punished, by members of the army that conquered him.
Things have been done that way in that part of the world for thousands of years. And, it does not mean that his treatment will be unfair. In fact, quite the opposite. It would be the fair outcome under the circumstances. Fair does not mean pretty. But, it does mean that the information and evidence will be presented and documented, and he will have a chance to be heard and offer a defense. Then, if he is found guilty (which appears quite likely), the punishment should fit the crime. How? Simple.
Throw him in a lions’ den.
Don’t laugh, because I’m entirely serious. Remember that it was Saddam Hussein that spent billions of dollars worth of the Iraqi treasury to rebuild Babylon, and declared himself the rightful ruler of the rebirth of that ancient city and empire. (The showpiece of that reconstruction was the Ishtar Gate. More about that in another article.) Remember that, during the Hebrew captivity in Babylon, the enemies of the God of the Bible wanted to have the Prophet Daniel thrown into a lions’ den. Remember that it backfired on them. Remember that, at his core, Saddam Hussein is an enemy of the God of the Bible, and of every thing and person that serves that God. So, let Hussein live by the fate that he has so famously aligned himself with. But wait, there’s more.
When I led a counter-terrorist team in the Air Force, one of the things that I told my men back in 1981 was that, if our country captures terrorist operatives, we should wrap them in pigskin and send them back to the village where they grew up. Under the laws of their “religion of peace”, no one will be able to help them get out. They will die a slow, screaming death in the midst of their relatives. Then, their souls will be trapped inside the pigskin for eternity. No clouds, no harps, no 72 virgins; only pigskin. That is what they believe. It would make it hard to recruit volunteers in that village again.
In like manner, Saddam Hussein should be kept in a fenced area inside a barn. The floor of his inner area should be lined with hay and cabbage. There should be an outer fenced area, and that area should be populated with pigs. The inner fence should be only high enough to keep the pigs from coming in, but low enough to tempt Saddam to try to escape. The outer fence, however, should be high and secure enough to prevent Saddam’s escape — from the pigs that attack him because he smells like cabbage! None of Saddam’s loyal followers would risk touching a pig to get in to help him. And, he couldn’t risk touching a pig to get out. That’s much cheaper than guards, and far more fitting. Perhaps some whiner would say it’s degrading; but, how can it degrade a national ruler that was knowingly living in a septic tank? (I shall now dub it the Spider Palace.)
The interrogation of Saddam Hussein should be focused and simple. Tell us what we want to know, or we’ll open the gate and let the pigs eat you. Each time he gives up a piece of information, the interrogation should stop completely until that information is verified. It might take a long time; but, any information gained would be guaranteed reliable. After all, he might not feel guilty about brutality, rape, or murder; but, I’m sure that he’d feel very guilty about touching a pig — guilty enough to tell the truth!
After the information is verified, and any lingering guerilla threats are captured or otherwise neutralized, the trial can begin. Let the entire thing be televised live. People can choose to watch as much, or little, as they can stomach. If he is on the witness stand, and if he is asked a question, and if he appears to be lying, then the prosecutor can hold up a photo of the pig cage to help his memory. Or, the prosecutor can open a window, and let in the sounds of the crowds outside — the sounds that were stifled for decades.
Then, when the trial is over, he will spend only one night in a normal prison cell. He will be given a rich, aromatic meal with lots of meat in it, and as much wine as he would like. Let him get hung-over, and fat, and slow — and, let him smell quite appetizing to the lions. Then, mid-morning the next day, march him outside and make him walk down a long staircase into a lions’ den. The lions, which often sleep during the day, will be on the other side of a barred door until evening approaches. He will hear their hungry roars, and they will smell his fear. Periodically during that day, Saddam will be shown pictures from the evidence in the trial. And, if there are audio tapes of the tortures that he inflicted on other people, those will be played for him to hear. He can think about the things he did, and the things that will soon be done to him. When the bars are lifted, and the lions enter his part of the pit, they will first toss him around like a mouse. Their powerful necks will shake him until his spine snaps in several places, painfully pinching the nerves. It is the closest approximation of the modern shredders that he put other people into; but, it will carry a signal that is thousands of years old. It will send that signal without our people having to physically or morally stoop to Saddam’s level. Hopefully, it will make it harder to recruit volunteers to become tyrants.
Then, ideally, in the middle of some foggy night, a small group of US Special Operations troops will quietly slip into a cave somewhere, and put a videotape of the execution into the lair of Osama bin-Laden. You’re next.
