Our Children, Ourselves
October 30, 2005
What is done to children, they will do to society. - Karl A. Menninger
Almost thirty years ago Straus and his colleagues reported that women are as violent as men toward their intimate partner. For thirty years now social-scientists have debated the relative risk and percentage differentials of male-to-female and female-to-male intimate partner violence.
Evidence that supports women and men are equally victimized comes primarily from surveys of married and cohabiting couples that ask respondents to self-report their abusive or violent behavior.
Evidence that supports women are at far greater risk of intimate partner violence than men is extracted primarily from crime surveys, law enforcement reports, clinical injuries and battered women’s shelters.
Hence, when one reads or views a presentation that proffers to “clearly document” either gender symmetry or gender disparity the only “clear” conclusion to be reached is that the “evidence” has been self selected by those who hold predetermined philosophic and political agendas.
The only real truth to be observed is that when a presentation purports to “clearly document” that one gender in general is the primary aggressive offender and the other gender is the primary passive victim, is that those making such a presentation have simply “discovered” and “presented” data that they had predetermined to “discover” and “present.”
Intimate abuse is a serious, widespread and complex phenomenon. Simplistic conceptions and singular interventions are driven by philosophic and political agendas that are most often examples of either “biased” methodology or “self selected” data by ideologues.
It is too early to conclude that either “self reporting” or “crime data” is the “ultimate truth” or that either is the “perfect measuring tool” that should always be applied. Neither is perfect and neither has the monopoly on the truth. The only clear “truth” is that intimate partner violence is perpetrated by both men and women.
The same is true for child abuse. Any presentation that purports to “document” either men or women are the primary offenders is a biased presentation offered by ideologues who, because of their philosophic or political agenda have “predetermined to “discover and present” their version of the truth.
And Sadder Still
The intimate partner gender symmetry and/or dichotomous arguments have been carried over to child custody issues by advocates who are more concerned with the “rights” of adults than the “rights” of children. And because it is still legal to “abuse” children, the issue of child abuse is more complex and multifaceted than intimate partner abuse.
Because of the increasing number of intimate partner violence studies that document gender symmetry (men and women abuse each other at equal rates) many ideological feminists (people who are more concerned with women’s rights than victim or civil rights) claim that most of those studies “fail to examine individual circumstances and the context of the abuse.” And many studies document that they may very well be correct.
However, concerning “child abuse” and “custody issues” the very same ideological feminists want the courts to ignore “individual circumstance and context.” Instead they want the courts to consider “data sets” they have picked from certain and selected studies to “implicitly” prove to the courts, before any evidence is heard, that men are the aggressive offenders and women and children their victims.
Concerning intimate partner violence ideological feminist claim that “psychological abuse” can be just as or more harmful than “physical abuse.” Again they may very well be correct. However, in another juxtaposition of belief they seem not to comprehend when it comes to “child abuse” and “custody issues,” is that they want the courts to consider physical abuse to be far more harmful than psychological abuse.
Child Neglect
Child neglect is the most common form of “psychological abuse” against children. The Child Maltreatment 1998: Report from the States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, estimates that there were 903,000 victims of child maltreatment nationwide. More than half of the victims (53%) suffered from neglect.
Failure to thrive is an identifiable medical diagnosis that has been closely related to child neglect. The causes of neglect, similar to intimate partner violence, are varied and must be evaluated on each individual circumstance.
Both physical abuse and neglect have serious consequences on the well being of children. There is no single empirical brush that can paint either men or women as the primary offender. A presentation that claims one gender or the other is the primary offender is based on selected studies those half truths can prove to be more harmful than helpful when presented as “truths” in our civil and criminal courts.
Conclusion
Reams of data, from public and private studies, document that both mothers and fathers abuse their children. Any presentation that attempts to “document” that one or the other is the primary physical or psychological abuser of our children does a disservice to all of us and to our children in particular.
The safety and best interest of our children demands that child custody assessments are free from any biased presentations that attempt to “predetermine” the guilt or innocence of either gender before all the evidence is heard.
Anyone who has been through a contentious divorce can at understand, but not excuse, how or why emotion and not reason can cause some mothers and fathers to lie, deceive and use their children as pawns in divorce or custody battles.
What is most troubling is that ideological feminists and other ideologues are willing to place children at risk of further or future harm from an abusive mother by using children as pawns in their philosophic and political women’s rights agenda of stereotyping men as abusers and women as their passive victims.
