On October 18, 2003 the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men (DAHM) will hold its 3rd National Conference in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. The conference is designed to provide a forum concerning the need for a multifaceted approach to the issue of domestic violence. The conference is specifically concerned with the largest under-served population of domestic violence victims in this nation, heterosexual and homosexual men.
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men provides practical assistance in the form of a toll-free crisis line and referral services to victims of spousal or intimate partner abuse. Trained volunteers provide resource assistance to anyone regardless of age or gender but its specific purpose is to provide a national domestic violence helpline phone resource for heterosexual and homosexual men. The toll free line is 1-877-643-1120 Access Code 0757 or you mail email help@noexcuse4abuse.org.
Many domestic violence advocates argue there is no need for another national domestic violence hotline because there has been one in place at 1-800-799-SAFE since 1996 www.ndvh.org (NDVH). The NDVH website notes that the hotline has help for everyone, women, children and men of all ages, ethnicities, educational backgrounds and economic levels as domestic violence knows no boundaries.
However, a quick review of that organizations website reveals what they say and what they actually think are two very different things. A caveat concerning the last sentence in the above paragraph is, "…domestic violence knows no boundaries…unless you are a man who is or has been the victim/target of domestic violence." The bulleted information that follows is from the “National Statistics” section of their website:
· The National Domestic Violence Hotline has received more than 700,000 calls for assistance since February 1996. – National Domestic Violence Hotline, December 2001
What NDVH avoids here is that more than 240,000 of those calls did not come from females.
· Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. –Commonwealth Fund survey, 1998
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that when researchers use the very same methodology as does the Commonwealth Fund survey, data will document that the number of males and females who report being physically abused is approximately equal. NDVH know that to be true, they purposely chose not to make you AWARE of it.
· It is estimated that 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year in the United States. – National Institute of Justice, July 2000
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the very same study documents that 185,496 men are stalked by an intimate partner each year. NDVH constantly and consistently ignores data concerning male victims.
· Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend each year to 4 million women who are physically abused by their husbands or live-in partners each year. – Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the U.S. Department of Justice report they cite does not report that 4 million women are physically abused by their husband or live-in partners. And of the 960,000 incidents the report does cite, 15% of those reports are from males.
· Studies show that child abuse occurs in 30-60% of family violence cases that involve families with children. – "The overlap between child maltreatment and woman battering." J.L. Edleson, Violence Against Women, February, 1999
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that women appear to be most greatly influenced by their mother's behavior. The likelihood a woman would abuse her child rose, they noted, with every witnessed incident in which their mother had attacked their father. Also, the investigators found that each incident increased the likelihood that a woman would abuse her partner by 6%. Journal of Marriage and Family 2002; 64: 864-870.
· While women are less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes overall, women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner. – Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS) http://www.ncjrs.org/pdffiles1/nij/183781.pdf acknowledges that women report their victimization at a far higher rate than to men. In fact the authors of NVAWS note that so few men reported they were rape victims that they could not compute a rate for male victims/targets.
The author’s of the NVAWS document that approximately 1 of every 3 victims of domestic violence is male. However, they dismiss male victims/targets as being inconsequential and paint them invisible in policy implications of the report. Data documents that men are less likely than women to report being a victim of domestic violence and are even less likely to report being raped.
· Violence by an intimate partner accounts for about 21% of violent crime experienced by women and about 2 % of the violence experienced by men. – Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998
There are lies, greater lies, and then there are statistics. What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that this data is achieved only by manipulating the truth. The number of males who suffer from violent crime is far higher that for women and hence can be used to produce a misleading statistic. To make this type of smoke and mirrors comparison is to purposely minimize male victims, deceive the general public and hide the true percentage difference.
· In 92% of all domestic violence incidents, crimes are committed by men against women. – Violence Against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, January, 1994
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the more recent Department of Justice, the very same report that they cite right above this entry, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998 document it is 85% not 92%.
NDVH knows the truth and they do not want you to become AWARE if it. In fact on their website they, for no reason other than effect, will later move from 92% up to 95%. They consistently ignore and avoid reports, studies or data that does not fit their view of the world.
· Of women who reported being raped and/or physically assaulted since the age of 18, three quarters (76 percent) were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabitating partner, date or boyfriend. – Prevalence Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, U.S. Department of Justice, November, 1998
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the authors of the NVAWS write that the estimates for males were not calculated for male rape victims because there were so few. Those authors and this website choose to ignore a National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention document that an estimated 302,100 women and 92,700 men are forcibly raped each year. And the majority of the males were raped by intimates, family members or friends of the family, not strangers.
· In 1994, women separated from their spouses had a victimization rate 1 1/2 times higher than separated men, divorced men, or divorced women. – Sex Differences in Violent Victimization, 1994, U.S. Department of Justice, September, 1997
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE over and over again, is that as noted above, men report their victimizations, both physical and sexual, at a rate far lower than women.
In 1996, among all female murder victims in the U.S., 30% were slain by their husbands or boyfriends. – Uniform Crime Reports of the U.S. 1996, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1996
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that in a report they use many times, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998 it documents between 1976 and 1996 the following comparisons for male and female intimate victims:
Male Victims Female Victims
62% killed by wives 64% killed by husbands
4% killed by ex-wives 5% killed by ex-husbands
31,260 women were murdered by an intimate from 1976-1996. – Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that 20,311 men were murdered by an intimate. Does anyone see a pattern here? Is anyone beginning to wonder why NDVH simply ignores male victims/targets when they present their data? What is their purpose in painting male victims invisible? Why is it they can not report the truth? The simple truth is that 31,260 women and 20,311 men were murdered by an intimate from 1976-1996. Why is it so difficult for them to present the whole truth?
A child’s exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. – Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, APA, 1996
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that one of the most complete reports concerning children who do witness domestic violence is the, Young Australians and Domestic Violence, Australian Institute of Criminology Feb 2001 www.aic.gov.au. The study documents that 42% of children witnessed male to female violence and 33% report they witnessed female to male violence.
Forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. – Children Now/Kaiser Permanente poll, December, 1995
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that this poll does not ask the same question to teenage boys age 14 to 17. If you only ask girls and not boys all you have is an incomplete an answer to a whole problem. The whole question has been asked and the complete answer provided. However, NDVH hides the complete answer because the do not do they want you to be AWARE of the truth.
Females accounted for 39% of the hospital emergency department visits for violence-related injuries in 1994 but 84% of the persons treated for injuries inflicted by intimates.– Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998
There is no question that women suffer far more than men from intimate injurious physical and sexual assaults. When law enforcement responds to domestic violence assaults the victims with black eyes, broken noses, fractured ribs, etc are most often women not men.
However, the same is true for stranger assaults. The smaller and weaker person most often has more physical injuries than the larger stronger person. In neither case do injuries demonstrate who assaulted who first or document that the smaller weaker person was or was not the consistent aggressor.
The actual numbers for 1994 are 39,000 males – 16% and 204,000 females – 84%. However what NDVH purposely does not make you AWARE of is that the intimate partner victim’s amount to only 0.6% of total emergency department injury visits to hospitals and clinics nation wide in 1994. This does not match the epidemic of violence they want you to believe is occurring.
Family violence costs the nation from $5 to $10 billion annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. – Medical News, American Medical Association, January, 1992
A sad and sobering fact and all the more reason all domestic violence organizations should be telling the truth.
Husbands and boyfriends commit 13,000 acts of violence against women in the workplace every year.– Violence and Theft in the Workplace, U.S. Department of Justice, July, 1994
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of the fact that males are far more violent in the workplace against other males than they are against females, intimates or not. There is little gender specific violence in the workplace.
The majority of welfare recipients have experienced domestic abuse in their adult lives and a high percentage are currently abused. – Trapped by Poverty, Trapped by Abuse: New Evidence Documenting the Relationship Between Domestic Violence and Welfare, The Taylor Institute, April, 1997
What NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of is that the report – Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, U.S. Department of Justice, March, 1998 clearly documents that women in low-income household experience far more non-lethal violence by an intimate than do women in households with higher incomes regardless of the fact if they are welfare recipients or not. This is the same for both stranger and intimate partner violence and for male and female victims.
· One in five female high school students reports being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. – Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), August 200
This final “National Statistic” demonstrates clearly and without any doubt that the purpose of NDVH is that you NOT BECOME AWARE of any unbiased national domestic violence statistics. In the “Teens and Dating Violence” section of the website NDVH reports that, “In 95% of abusive relationships, men abuse women.” And of course there is no citation for the 95% because it is pure fantasy not fact. And sadly, they know it is not true but present it as fact nevertheless because they must.
The NDVH presents skewered data, sensationalist material, misleading statistics, myths, and non-scientific research because they must decrease the numbers and devalue both the need and worth of male victims.
The truth is that the Massachusetts Youth Risk survey is that it documents that 7% of males and 18% of females report being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner and that 6% of males and 16% of females report someone had sexual contact with them against their will. NDVH does not want you to become AWARE of the data concerning male victims so they must purposely hide the truth.
The Cause of Dating Violence Mirrors That of Adult Abuse
The study Gender and Contextual Factors in Adolescent Dating Violence, Violence Against Women 4:1998:180-194 documents that 36.4% of girls and 37.1% of boys reported they had experienced physical violence in the dating relationship.
The study Victims of Dating Violence Among High School Students, Violence Against Women 4:1998:195-223 documents that 45.5% of females and 43.2% of males report they were the victims of some form of physical aggression from dating partners at least once during the course of dating.
Another study presented at the American Psychological Associations 109th Convention in 2001 documents that nearly one in ten girls and one in twenty boys report experiencing violence and/or being raped on a date.
Why do national recognized domestic violence organizations work so hard to distort the truth? The NDVH “National Statistics” section is not content to twist the truth about domestic violence between men and women. They must also present half truths about dating violence between boys and girls. This is because the truth does not fit their core philosophic belief that the vast majority of the time males are the demonic offenders and females their innocent victims.
In the vast majority of dating violence studies, both boy and girls report that most incidents are caused by emotional outbursts of anger and jealousy. Regardless of who initiates the aggression the consequences often are dissimilar. Girls are more likely to be punched, injured or forced to engage in sexual activity. Boys were pinched, slapped, scratched and kicked. The most common response to the violence by girls is fear followed by being emotional injured. The boys respond that the incident was not that serious, however, it did upset them.
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men
In addition to all this, what NDVH does not want you to be AWARE of is that there is a Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men. NDVH refuses to use the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men as a resource (in their database or on their website) for male victims/targets and others who call looking to help male victims/targets. Instead, male victims/targets et al (especially heterosexual men) are sent on a wild goose chase calling numbers that have been long established for women victims and male perpetrators of domestic violence. After many dead ends and at just about the point when a male victim/target believes he must be the only man dealing with a domestically violent woman he may be lucky enough to be referred to DAHM via our website or some state program that knows of us. Then again he may not.
Another long established umbrella group that shuns collaboration with DAHM (formerly Battered Men's Helpline, BMH) and refuses them membership is the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence (MCEDV). From their website:
· MCEDV is the only statewide organization whose primary goal is ending domestic abuse in Maine. Founded in 1977 by individuals working together to assist and advocate for battered women and their children the Coalition Office and MCEDV Member Organizations now have approximately 150 paid staff and hundreds of trained volunteers.
If their "primary goal is ending domestic abuse in Maine," then why are they "working together to assist and advocate for battered women and their children" only? If they are concerned about, "ending domestic abuse in Maine," shouldn't they be, "working together to assist and advocate for battered women and men and their children."?
Regardless of the fact that next month is domestic violence AWARENESS month, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org/, the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence and the National Domestic Violence Hotline do not want anyone to be AWARE of the unbiased data that documents male victims of domestic violence not do they want anyone to know that there is a national helpline for men.
This must remain the central theme of all of these organizations because they truly believe that domestic violence occurs because of sexism and the power and control of men over women in our society. If they accept that males are victims, that simple truth negates their core belief. And they have the right to hold those beliefs, however, they need to be honest and upfront concerning their real agenda.
Recently, a woman who oversees a county wide women's shelter service stated that she believes it is wrong to “use or support the use of melodramatic materials ... no matter what victim group is emphasized. The use of skewered, sensationalist materials, often based on misleading statistics, myths, and non-scientific research, is non-productive to our mission and provides a disservice to all victims of violence."
The same victim advocate also claims that, “society must acknowledge that women do assault men in relationships, but the problem isn’t big enough to justify the amount of time and money spent on it.” Just a brief visit to the National Domestic Violence Hotline documents that, while they attempt to conceal their purpose, it is clear their intent is to maximize the plight of women and minimize the plight of men.
All data documents quite clearly that female victims of domestic
violence, particularly women at the lower end of the socioeconomic
educational strata, need more support and assistance than male victims.
All data documents quite clearly that females are the victims of more
injurious and sexual assaults than males. However, organizations that
believe the vast majority of domestic violence is caused by sexism
and the power and control men have over women in society can not honestly
provide for the needs of males victims.
It seems logical that there would be at least one major media organization,
at least one member of the Senate, one member of the House of Representatives
or one of the many organizations that sponsor the National Domestic
Violence Hotline, that would question why all the skewed data and
half truths on their website are presented as “facts” in the “National
Statistics” section. It is one thing to skewer statistics between
women and men, but to distort the truth concerning our daughters and
sons is unreasonably perverse. So far the silence is deafening.
And perhaps this October, organizations that do care about all victims of domestic violence regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation or percentage differences will carry the number of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men on their site and speak out for all victims of domestic violence. Their toll free line is 1-877-643-1120 Access Code 0757 or victims may email help@noexcuse4abuse.org.
If you call they will answer truthfully. And someday the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth will be told.
