I read with interest Butler Shaffer’s recent piece "The Hitler Test" and decided to run my own version of his annual in-class voting exercise, only using my public high school students instead of his college students. The results were oh-so-predictable, but I wanted to see for myself the degree of cluelessness of today’s average student. I was not disappointed, at least in that regard.
My version of this exercise involved voting by secret ballot for one of two candidates, the first a composite of several Founding Fathers and the other Adolf Hitler, without identifying either candidate by name. The ballot contained a short descriptive paragraph of each candidate, somewhat similar to a California Voter’s Guide. I used Shaffer’s descriptive paragraphs verbatim, as follows:
Candidate A: "A well-known critic of government, this man has been involved in tax protest movements, and has openly advocated secession, armed rebellion against the existing national government, and even the overthrow of that government. He is a known member of a militia group that was involved in a shoot-out with law enforcement authorities. He opposes gun control efforts of the present national government, as well as restrictions on open immigration into this country. He is a businessman who has earned his fortune from such businesses as alcohol, tobacco, retailing, and smuggling."
Candidate B: "A decorated army war veteran, this man is an avowed nonsmoker and dedicated public health advocate. His public health interests include the fostering of medical research and his dedication to eliminating cancer. He opposes the use of animals in conducting such research. He has supported restrictions on the use of asbestos, pesticides, and radiation, and favors government-determined occupational health and safety standards, as well as the promotion of such foods as whole-grain bread and soybeans. He is an advocate of government gun-control measures. An ardent opponent of tobacco, he has supported increased restrictions on both the use of and advertising for tobacco products. Such advertising restrictions include: [1] not allowing tobacco use to be portrayed as harmless or a sign of masculinity; [2] not allowing such advertising to be directed to women; [3] not drawing attention to the low nicotine content of tobacco products; and, [4] limitations as to where such advertisements may be made. This man is a champion of environmental and conservationist programs, and believes in the importance of sending troops into foreign countries in order to maintain order therein."
The results were not only predictable, they were also very similar to Shaffer’s results over the years, at least up until this year. Of my 50 sophomore, junior, and senior students, 39 (78%) voted to elect Candidate B, Adolf Hitler, to a high government office. You should have seen the jaws drop when I announced the results. They couldn’t believe it and the laughter continued for quite some time.
I took several minutes discussing the descriptive paragraph of Hitler while waiting for the inevitable question, "Who was Candidate A?" When I told them it was a composite of several Founding Fathers, including Samuel Adams, John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington you could have heard a pin drop, very briefly, until they started calling each other a bunch of Nazis. It went rapidly downhill from there.
After much finger pointing I asked them what they had learned from the exercise. Like always, some were more on target than others, but in general they realized that things are not always what they seem, that missing labels (names) can make a major difference, especially without doing any homework first, and some of them actually said that they needed to study history more. I almost couldn’t believe my own ears. It was great to hear them saying it for once instead of me.
I explained to them that composite Candidate A, from the British perspective, was a traitor and criminal, yet we know them as patriots, freedom fighters, and Founders. Still, only several of my students picked up the pro gun vs. gun control agendas of the two opposing candidates. Almost all of the ones that did notice voted for Hitler and there was no shortage of environmentalists in my classroom.
When I asked my students why 78% of them had voted for Hitler’s agendas and ideology the response was instantaneous and consistent. They all said, "It just sounded so much better." That launched me into a rant about socialism being nothing more than wealth redistribution and killing the incentive to work at all. Why bother to work if you can get paid by the State for doing nothing?
That segued into a discussion of the income tax and Pres. Bush’s income tax refunds for people who don’t even pay income taxes. They were at a loss to explain how such a thing could possibly be. They’re not stupid, just ignorant.
We ended up discussing Congress’ only function—spending the people’s money. One diehard then trotted out the socialist party line that rich people should be heavily taxed "because they can afford it." I asked this young man what it would be called if I stuck a gun in his ribs and demanded his wallet. He replied, "Armed robbery." I then asked him what it is called when the IRS does essentially the same thing. He replied, "Income tax." Finally, I asked the class what composite Candidate A would call today’s income tax. They shouted, "Highway robbery!" Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?
Several students just had to have a copy of the ballot to take home so that they could watch their parents also vote for Hitler. Overall, it was a very interesting exercise, one that leaves open many doors for other days when we have more time to explore them.
By now you must also know that there is an effort to lower the legal voting age to 16 in Baltimore. Robert Redding Jr. writes in The Washington Times, "A city lawmaker says she will help 16-year-olds secure the right to vote, a plan that would make the teens the youngest voters in the nation and increase the number of registered voters in the Democratic Party. Council President Sheila Dixon, a Democrat, made the promise as part of her re-election campaign for the Sept. 9 primary, in a city that already has an overwhelming majority of Democratic voters and has not elected a Republican mayor since 1967."
And my students wonder how I can be an anarchist. Some of them have even heard the word before and a few might even be able to spell it, but most of them have no clue what it means. I guess I have my work cut out for me again this semester.
Oh, to be in high school again—clueless, idealistic, utopian, and socialist.
Nah, I much prefer to be a middle-aged anarchist and wannabe curmudgeon. Somebody has to break little Johnny’s bubble, the sooner the better.
Forget the election, Hitler already won. Some say he’s already been in office for three years. See what voting gets you?
Bring on the 16-year-olds! Then pull up a chair and open a frosty bottle of homebrew. It’s going to be the Greatest Show on Earth, at least until the Big Top comes tumbling down.
I only have one question: How the hell are they going to get it into the underground bunker in the first place?
Joe
Blow
Published originally at EtherZone.com
