What Women Want: Who Cares? - Joe Blow

PART VII

What Women Want: Who Cares?

June 30, 2003

by Joe Blow

This installment on the timeless question is more general in nature and is based solely on surveys. It should be illuminating nonetheless.

Women Want Plastic Surgery

A 2001 survey by Britain’s Top Sante magazine revealed, "Two thirds of women are so unhappy with their body that they would undergo plastic surgery to achieve the perfect look, a survey suggests. Of the 3,000 women questioned, 90% said their body made them feel ‘down’. And almost three-quarters think about their size and shape every day.

"Almost two-thirds said their sex lives would be better if they achieved their ideal shape. Three-quarters of women who have had plastic surgery think it has improved their lives, and 71% would do it again - but four out of 10 said the results from operations they had already had were not as good as they expected.

"Julliette Kellow, editor of Top Sante, said: ‘British women are obsessed with their bodies, and it is spoiling their lives. For almost 40 years, being attractive has been equated with being thin. But women's desire for body perfection is no longer a weight issue - the majority of normal and underweight women answering our survey are still unhappy with their bodies.’

"Dr Joan Brunton, of the Eating Disorders Unit at St George's Medical School, told BBC News Online: ‘A lot of women want to be thinner, and the ideal is thin. And women think their bodies are infinitely malleable. Most women can't change their shape and it's unusual to be that thin.’

"Gill Todd, clinical nurse specialist at the Bethlem Hospital in south London, said: ‘The message women get is that we need all our bones showing, and we need to be thin, so only then can we be happy and successful.’"

What Women Want From Sex

A 2000 survey of women conducted by the Kinsey Institute for Research on Sex, Gender, and Reproduction revealed "[T]hat mood, general well-being, and relationship factors seem to be the most important contributors to their sexual well-being."

"The Kinsey researchers conducted a random telephone survey that eventually yielded 1,030 women who were willing to take part. The women were all between 20 and 65 years of age, and all had said they had been in heterosexual relationships with their current partners for at least six months. About two-thirds of the respondents were white, and one-third were black. Because survey participants needed to have English as their first language, there were not enough Hispanic women to be included in the study sample."

"According to the survey respondents, factors that primarily determined women's sexual well-being were, in order of importance:

1. General well-being -- defined as having energy, being calm, and being in a good mood

2. Subjective sexual experience -- emotional reactions during lovemaking

3. Attractiveness of their partners

4. Sexual response -- bodily changes, including orgasm, that occur during lovemaking

5. Frequency of sexual activity with their partner

6. Their partner's sensitivity to their needs

7. Their own health

8. Their partner's health"

Women Want Men Who Can Dance

Gail Arias, a dance instructor, conducted her own survey "taken from 500 women ages 25 through 45 years old, single and married." She says, "When a woman knows the pleasure of dancing in the arms of a man, it is next to impossible to settle for anything less, unless he has some incredibly exciting career in which they can experience unlimited financial freedom together or he is unbelievable in bed or both! Yes, it is true in the order of importance according to our survey. Dance, Financial Success then Sex. Of all the women surveyed not one said she did not enjoy dancing in the arms of a man. To top it off, if he knew how to dance really well then sex was the best she had ever experienced!" Her survey results follow.

"TEN QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN! (On and off the dance floor)

1. Good Leader on the dance floor who stays on the music.

2. Neat, clean appearance and well groomed.

3. Confident, self assured. Direct eye contact .

4. Stable career, financial security.

5. Sense of humor, quick witted, intelligent.

6. Well mannered i.e.; opens the door, introduces you to his friends, good table manners etc.

7. Physically fit, keeping weight under control.

8. Interested in what you have to say, a good listener.

9. Good in bed.

10. Nice looking."

Women Want Ideal Birth Control

An international survey of birth control methods revealed "American women have definite ideas about the beneficial characteristics of the ‘ideal’ birth control method. Women ages 18-49 who have used birth control, or plan to use it have identified the following as characteristics of their ideal birth control method:

easy to use (91%)

safe (90%)

effective (89%)

few or no side effects (85%)

natural (72%)

non-hormonal (63%)

taken monthly (62%)

allows the user to get pregnant soon after stopping use (52%)

"Although oral contraceptives are the most common form of birth control used in the United States, two out of three pill users indicate that they do not like daily pill taking.

Among American women ages 18-49 who are likely to take birth control sometime in the future, nearly half consider having to take a contraceptive daily as a drawback (44%).

Among this same group, a majority of American women consider taking a contraceptive only once a month as a benefit (63%)."

Executive Women Want A Life

Theresa Tedesco writes in the July 17, 2001 National Post, "Companies in the hunt to lure the country's top female executives need not fret over stock options and bonuses, but should offer a shorter work week…. A survey of 350 female executives in Canada revealed that an overwhelming majority prefer incentives that allow them to attain balance in their lives -- such as a four-day work week and the opportunity to work from home a few days a week -- rather than a hefty paycheque. On a scale of one to 10, those surveyed ranked job flexibility well in front of factors such as equal opportunities for advancement, job sharing, workplace child care and financial compensation.

"The poll surveyed women in senior management positions, including vice-presidents, and senior officials in the public sector. Among the other factors that influence job selection are: whether a company is recognized for having ethical values and standards; excellent management leadership; the quality of its products and services; and whether the company is widely respected in the community.

"A majority said their current employment does not provide the flexibility they want. Of those surveyed, 47% said they considered leaving their jobs to gain a better balance between their professional and personal lives.

"As well, children do not appear to significantly influence the results. For example, 37% of executive women who have children at home said they regularly consider leaving their jobs to achieve a better balance between their personal and professional responsibilities. Among those who do not have children, 32% said they also re-evaluate their jobs for the same reason.

"Despite the demand for greater flexibility, the study revealed such benefits are not widely available to women at senior levels. For example, 56% said they have the option of working from home while 33% said they could work a four-day week."

Women Want To Date Teachers

Dianne Lynch writes, "In a poll of more than 5,000 single American women, conducted [in February 2001] by Match.com, women rejected the rich CEO, the powerful politician, and the Wall Street stockbroker as their ideal dream date - and picked the teacher instead.

So says "Trish McDermott, the Vice President of Romance (no kidding) at Match.com., named in December by Jupiter Research as the largest dating service on the Internet. ‘When you consider what we've been through as a community in the past year…it makes sense that women are reexamining their priorities. A teacher is a guy with strong values. He's available to his family, and he works hard without all the late nights and business travel typical of other professions. Teachers make great dads, they have summers off to spend with the kids, and they tend to be somewhat selfless. They're in a fairly low-paying profession because they have a commitment to shaping the world and giving something back. Those are the qualities women are looking for in their relationships. When you think about it like that, it makes a lot of sense.’"

Women’s Secret Wishes

A 2003 survey of over 800,000 women by Women’s Day magazine and America online revealed, "When it comes to money, it seems more of it - for fancier wheels and a cushy place to kick up our heels - is a popular wish."

Dayana Yochim writes, "Wonder what's on the average American woman's mind? We want legs as long as Gwyneth Paltrow's, dream of a career as best-selling authors, and wouldn't mind a fantasy date with Brad, Denzel, or George (Clooney, that is). Oh, and if we happen to be blessed with a million smackaroos, bring on the jazzy car and fancy digs."

Summary

Based solely on the survey results above, women want:

1. Plastic surgery, better looks, and to be thin.

2. To feel good about themselves emotionally and sexually.

3. Men who are great dancers, neat, well-groomed, confident, and wealthy.

4. Ideal birth control that is easy, safe, effective, and natural, with no side effects.

5. Job flexibility for executives, with more balance in their lives.

6. To date teachers who will work hard, be selfless, and baby-sit all summer.

7. Lots of money, an expensive car, and a fancy home.

What are we to make of these results? Dare I say that I see numerous mutually exclusive wants once again? Say it isn’t so! Women want to be beautiful and feel good about themselves, but most don’t even come close. They want men who are almost perfect, but they are very rare. They want ideal birth control that does not exist, except for abstinence. Many want a high-paying, executive job, but most aren’t willing to sacrifice the time and energy that it requires. They want to date selfless, low-paying teachers who will care for their children all summer, yet they also want lots of money, an expensive car, and a fancy home with all of the comforts that a wealthy lifestyle affords.

Excuse my bluntness ladies, but you can’t get there from here.

Published originally at EtherZone.com